MeandMarj: Women aren't at their best.

Alison: Grandmother, do you have any pictures of you when you were pregnant?
Grandmother: No, why would I?
Alison: You didn't want to remember what it was like?
Grandmother: Let's just say, women aren't at their best then.
Alison: So, you didn't want any pictures?
Grandmother: Not especially.

MeandMarj: Born and raised in Reno.

Grandmother: I remember when I met Fred Corle, and people asked me where he was and I said. "Reno, Nevada." They thought he was getting a divorce!
Alison: Why would they think that?
Grandmother: That's where everyone went in those days to get a divorce. And when I explained he was born and raised there, the shock and awe wore off.

MeandMarj: You already had brownies!

Alison: Grandmother, you already had brownies!
Grandmother: I'm evening it out, it's a mess.

MeandMarj: Was Paris your favorite?

Alison: You haven't had any French bread!
Grandmother: It was too hot.
Alison: Well, now it's too cold.
Grandmother: It's just right.
Alison: Don't you love French bread?
Grandmother: I do! When we lived in Paris, I would go to the bread place right when it was coming out of the oven and it was so hot you had to juggle it!
Alison: Was Paris your favorite?
Grandmother: There was a dry cleaner there and I would take my raincoat and when they were finished with it, it looked brand new! They sure knew what they were doing!

MeandMarj: There wasn't any hurricane here.

Alison: What did you think about surviving Hurricane Irene?
Grandmother: Ha! There wasn't any hurricane here.

MeandMarj: You are smart, like your grandmother!

Grandmother tries to fit a dish into the cupboard...

Grandmother: I'm running out of space for my things. 
Alison: Maybe you have too many things?
Grandmother: No, I don't!
After moving a few things around and making space for the dish...
Grandmother: Oh, you are smart, like your grandmother!

MeandMarj: It was as cold as blue blazes!

Grandmother: How was Chicago?
Alison: It was great!
Grandmother: You know, we lived just north of Chicago once.
Alison: Really? When? Where?
Grandmother: Freddy will know.
Dad: They lived at the Great Lakes Naval Training Center from 1963 - 1964.
Grandmother: I remember, we moved in January and it was as cold as blue blazes! You know the movers had to keep the door open. Oh boy, it was cold!
Alison: Why'd you move in January?
Grandmother: That's when we needed to be there.
Alison: Did you like living there?
Grandmother: It wasn't my favorite.
Alison: Why?
Grandmother: We lived in these quarters that looked all right from the outside BUT inside, there was grey linoleum everywhere. It was awful! Don't ask me about it!

MeandMarj: Travel advice...

Grandmother: Do you have enough money? Look both ways before you cross the street, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! Have a great time! Don't do anything foolish!

MeandMarj: It's great!

Alison: That's the lovely "thank you" note my friend wrote!
Grandmother: Is this the way she writes?
Alison: Yes, what's wrong with it?
Grandmother: Nothing! It's great! Where did she learn how to write like that? It's absolutely perfect! It's unbelievable! It really is perfect!

MeandMarj: I'm old enough and big enough to take care of myself!

Alison: Grandmother, please eat those peas, rice and chicken in the fridge.
Grandmother: Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself. 
Alison: How's the strawberry pie?
Grandmother: Oh, I finished that!
Alison: Okay, good. I'm not worried about you starving! 
Grandmother: You don't need to worry about me. I'm old enough and big enough to take care of myself!

MeandMarj: Don't let the bed bugs bite!

Our nightly routine...

Grandmother: Ooh, it's after 8! It's past my bed time.
Alison: Okay, good night. See you in the morning for breakfast, bright and early!
Grandmother: Good night! Don't let the bed bugs bite!
Alison: Sleep well!

10 minutes later...

Grandmother: (screaming from the 2nd floor) Good night, Alison!
Alison: Good night, Grandmother!

MeandMarj: Sorry, Louise.

Alison: Grandmother, please take your pills.
Grandmother: Honey, I just don't feel like it. I'll take them tomorrow.
Alison: What is the point in taking your daily medicine every other day?
Grandmother: Just because some stupid doctor says I should?

MeandMarj: Kim Kardashian

While watching access Hollywood...

Grandmother: Who is this Kim?
Alison: It's Kim Kardashian. She's known for her rather large derrière. 
Grandmother: You mean, a big backside? A big butt?
Alison: Yes! Exactly!
Grandmother: How did she make it big, then? Even with a big backside?

MeandMarj: I don't give 10s very often.

Alison: How's the strawberry pie?
Grandmother: Not bad. I think it's the first strawberry pie I've ever had.
Alison: That can't be!
Grandmother: Well, it's the truth!
Alison: Why didn't you ever make a strawberry pie before?
Grandmother: They were always so good fresh! My father loved strawberries!
Alison: How did you eat them?
Grandmother: Just in a bowl with some sugar on top.
Alison: Okay, so, what do you rate this pie? On a scale of 1 to 10?
Grandmother: 8.
Alison: Why not a 10?
Grandmother: I seldom give 10s. 
Alison: What do I need to do to get a 10?
Grandmother: You need to make the sides really pretty, like my mother did.

MeandMarj: I'm the only one allowed to eat in my kitchen!

Alison: My girlfriends are coming over for dinner! There will be four of us total for dinner.
Grandmother: So, you will eat in the dining room?
Alison: Oh no! The kitchen will be fine!
Grandmother: I really wish you would eat here in the dining room. This room is so beautiful.
Alison: It really is. It's so beautiful, and we are messy women! You wouldn't want us to eat in there!
Grandmother: Well, maybe you shouldn't be so messy!
Alison: Okay, we'll try. But for tonight, it's probably best we eat in the kitchen.
Grandmother: No one is allowed to eat my kitchen except for me!

MeandMarj: You really need some lipstick!

Alison: Grandmother, I'm home! Did you miss me?
Grandmother: Hmm, I just wish you would put some lipstick on.
Alison: Okay, I'll put my lip gloss on.
Grandmother: Hmm, I can barely see it! It needs to be pinker! Rosy pink! You really should wear lipstick. It's much more becoming!

MeandMarj: We didn't even have a car.

Grandmother: We didn't even have a car when we were first married!
Alison: How did you get around?
Grandmother: One time we were coming back from New York to Philadelphia and we were in a really small car. It didn't even have a back seat, and I was curled up behind the driver in the back window!
Alison: Grandpa let you do that!?!
Grandmother: He must have been the one in the passenger seat. We even lived in this housing project.
Alison: Grandmother, I don't think you mean "the projects".
Grandmother: Yes, that's what they were. There were four apartments attached to each other. And one time, my father was visiting and he sat up all of the sudden and said he heard a dog running around. And he said he didn't know we had a dog. Of course, we didn't. But you see, the other apartments were adjacent to ours and the walls were so thin! It was the neighbor's dog!! 

Grandmother starts laughing away...
Alison: Oh my gosh! What did your dad say?
Grandmother: He just laughed!

MeandMarj: Ill eagle...

Grandmother: What's the difference between illegal and an ill eagle?
Alison: What?
Grandmother: One is a sick bird!
Alison: Clever!

MeandMarj: It's not New York.

Alison: Grandmother, I'm going to new York! We got a great deal on a hotel and it's my friend's 30th birthday!
Grandmother: You can stay here for free.
Alison: Yes, that's true, but it's not new York.
Grandmother: It's not New York BUT it's Old Town Alexandria! Old Town is great!

MeandMarj: Can I come?

Alison: Grandmother, is it okay if I host book club here next month?
Grandmother: Oh sure! Can I come?
Alison: Of course! You have to read the book though. You'll be the life of the party!
Grandmother: Oh sure! But wait, I'll have to provide the refreshments?
Alison: No, you don't have to worry about anything. I'll get everything! Won't it be fabulous to have 6 - 8 women here?
Grandmother: Oh yes! So, you'll provide the refreshments and I don't have to do anything?
Alison: Exactly!
Grandmother: SO, you'll make sure you have all the refreshments?
Alison: Oh, don't you worry. I'll make sure there are plenty of refreshments!

MeandMarj: It's pretty nice you don't have to pay for that!

I'm unloading my clothes from the dryer and folding my laundry...

Grandmother: It's pretty nice you don't have to pay for that. I should put a coin thing on there and I'd be rich!

Alison: Oh, it is! The past two years I had to pay each time I did my laundry.
Grandmother: How much was it?
Alison: $5 a load of laundry.

Grandmother points to the washing machine...
Grandmother: To put your clothes in a thing like this!?! Oh, come on!
Alison: Seriously!
Grandmother: Well, I never had a machine like this. I used a board!
Alison: Well, I don't have a board.
Grandmother: Well, I'm sure I could find you one!

MeandMarj: Can you imagine being the mom elephant that had the baby elephant?

Flipping through the latest National Geographic Magazine...

Grandmother: Can you imagine being the mom elephant that had that huge baby come out of you?
Alison: Hahaha! No, hadn't thought of that. Was that the worst part?
Grandmother: The birth? Yes! Don't let anyone tell you it is fun!

MeandMarj: I love finding surprises in my freezer!

Grandmother: Ready for dessert?
Alison: Yes, ma'am!
Grandmother: Oooh! What do we have here? Where did these come from?
Alison: I bought the Fudgsicles at the store.
Grandmother: Oh! I love finding surprises in my freezer!

MeandMarj: You can't do everything!

Alison: It took me an hour and a half to get home from work! The traffic was awful!
Grandmother: What was the cause for all the traffic?
Alison: Torrential downpours!!!
Grandmother: It wasn't raining here...
Alison: Well, I feel awful. There was a recruiting event for school I was supposed to attend.
Grandmother: Well, you already have a job. So, who cares?
Alison: It wasn't a recruiting event for work, but for school. They wanted alums to be there to share their wonderful experiences. But it's downtown and with this traffic...
Grandmother: Oh no, you can't do everything!
Alison: I feel so guilty! I feel like I'm letting them down.
Grandmother: Well, stop that right now! They probably wouldn't even miss you!

MeandMarj: It takes some doing.

Alison: Grandmother, tonight I am going to book club so I won't be home.
Grandmother: Oh. What do you do there?
Alison: We are discussing a book we just read about marital claustrophobia.
Grandmother: Marital what?
Alison: It's basically about how it's tough to be happy with one person for a lifetime. It takes work.
Grandmother: Yes, that's true. It takes some doing.

MeandMarj: It's easier to listen.

Grandmother: Let's see what's going on in the world.
Alison: Let's read the paper!
Grandmother: It's easier to listen.

MeandMarj: Your nails are so nice!

Christie: How do you keep your nails so nice?
Grandmother: Oh, my nails? I don't do any work.
Christie: Oh! You mean you don't do any work on your nails?
Grandmother: No, I don't do any work. Period!

MeandMarj: Okay, Vanderbilt.

Alison: I'm going to go shower.
Grandmother: You have your coffee here.
Alison: Yes, I know, it's really hot! By the time I shower, it will be the perfect temperature. Please don't throw it out. Okay?
Grandmother: Okay. 

Grandmother looks at my t-shirt, looks back at me... 

Grandmother: Vanderbilt!

MeandMarj: Bully for you!

Alison: Grandmother, I ran 7 miles this morning!
Grandmother: That's nice.
Alison: I ran all the way to airport and back!
Grandmother: Why would you do that?
Alison: I'm training for a half marathon. I'm going to run 13.1 miles.
Grandmother: Bully for you!
Alison: What does that expression mean?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: Why'd you say it?
Grandmother: I don't know..something to say.

MeandMarj: I don't particularly care for pasta.

Alison: How's dinner?
Grandmother: It's all right.
Alison: Whats wrong? You don't like it?
Grandmother: Did you put salt on this?
Alison: Yes, I did.
A few bites later...
Grandmother: I don't particularly care for pasta.
Alison: Pasta in general? Or specifically this pasta?
Grandmother: This pasta specifically!

MeandMarj: What exactly are you eating?

Grandmother: What is that?
Alison: It's wheat bread and tomato.
Grandmother: I've never seen anything like that before! It's the strangest looking thing!
Alison: You've heard of a tomato sandwich?
Grandmother: Yes, of course.
Alison: This is the exact same thing, except I'm eating one half at a time. It's open-faced.
Grandmother: Weird!

MeandMarj: The Peanut Butter Cookies

Grandmother: Now, we don't need all those cookies.
Alison: I'll give some to Steve!
Grandmother: You're spoiling him.
Alison: Why am I spoiling him?
Grandmother: I don't know why.
Alison: Okay, then "how" am I?
Grandmother: By giving him those cookies.
Alison: Didn't you make Grandpa his favorite things?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: What were his favorite things?
Grandmother: Oh, he liked everything. He was in the Navy, he had to! When he was on a ship, if he didn't like what was put in front of him, he didn't eat.
Out of the oven...
Grandmother: These cookies look pretty good! (She eats one.) They taste pretty good, too! I think I'll have another one. I could eat all of them. I think I'll call you, "sous chef"!

MeandMarj: Animals sweat!

Grandmother: You are going out like that?
Alison: Do I look okay?
Grandmother: I think those shorts are too short. You should wear pants.
Alison: It's 80 degrees outside! If I wore pants, I would sweat all night.
Grandmother uses her stern voice...

Grandmother: Animals sweat. People perspire!

MeandMarj: Why is 9 too late for dinner?

Grandmother: Now where are you going?
Alison: Dinner with my friend, Lexi.
Grandmother: Well, I want you home by 11.
Alison: Grandmother, that will be difficult, considering our dinner reservations are at 9.
Grandmother: Well, too bad. That's too late for dinner, anyhow.
Alison: Why is 9 too late?
Grandmother: Because you are making your poor stomach work overtime!

MeandMarj: Want to go out to dinner on Saturday night?

Alison: Let's go out to dinner Saturday night! Just us! It will be so fun!
Grandmother: I hate to eat out.
Alison: Well, let's eat at home then...what should we have?
Grandmother: Well, traditionally you eat baked beans on Saturday night.
Alison: Baked beans!?! With what?
Grandmother: A hot dog!
Alison: Really? I've never heard of this. Is that what you want Saturday night?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Okay, want me to make something creative?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Okay, well, we need to decide something to eat.
Grandmother: Well, there's always something good to eat around here.

Alison: Yes, but we need to decide what that is! It doesn't just appear! 

Unless Dad is bringing dinner over! He apparently is the best chef and missed his calling! Grandmother always tells him he should open a restaurant in New York City! It will only serve '50s-style American dinners. Not sure how successful that will be, but Grandmother can think so!

MeandMarj: Is it bad that I wake my Grandmother up every morning?

Alison: Grandmother, good morning! It's another beautiful day!
Grandmother: (moaning as she rolls over) What time is it?

Alison: Time to get up! Want to have breakfast with me?
Grandmother: Do I have to?

I hold Grandmother's robe open for her... 
Alison: No, but you've hardly had breakfast with me all week! All you have to do is come downstairs for 10 - 15 minutes and then you can go back to sleep. I have to go to work all day.
Grandmother: Well, that's your choice. I never worked!
Alison: Well, Grandmother, it's so nice having breakfast with you. It's lonely eating down here all by myself.
Grandmother: Well, you better get used to it!
Alison: Why?
Grandmother: When you marry a naval officer, they're gone most of the time. You eat breakfast by yourself.
Alison: Well, I don't plan on marrying a naval officer. I don't even know any, and I certainly don't spend much time in Annapolis!

MeandMarj: Why do you hold your pen that way?

Grandmother: Why do you hold your pen that way?
Alison: What way?
Grandmother: The way you do! It's weird!

MeandMarj: Aw shut up!

Alison: Please! Take these pills, Grandmother!
Grandmother: I'll take them when I damn well please.
Alison: You say that, but you never do! Please, take them!
Grandmother: Aw shut up!

MeandMarj: Why don't you ever wear any lipstick?

Grandmother: Why don't you ever wear any lipstick?
Alison: Okay, I'll put on this lip gloss.
Grandmother: You can hardly tell you put anything on! It's not red enough. I like pretty red lips, rosy red lips! It makes you look so much better!

MeandMarj: The Goodbye

Every morning grandmother waves goodbye from the living room window

MeandMarj: My old cronies!

Alison: Good morning, Grandmother!
Grandmother: Huh? What time is it?
Alison: It's 7 am!
Grandmother: Are you leaving for work?
Alison: There's still time for breakfast, if you'd like.
Grandmother: Okay, I'll get up.

After brushing her hair and applying some lipstick, Grandmother is walking to the kitchen with a smile on her face...

Grandmother: I was just dreaming away!
Alison: Oh, I'm so sorry I woke you up. What were you dreaming about?
Grandmother: Oh, I was with all my old cronies in Europe, having a grand ole time!
Alison: That sounds wonderful. I'm sorry I disturbed your wonderful evening. What else happened? Tell me more about hanging out with your cronies!
Grandmother: Oh I can't remember now...but it was fun!
Alison: Did you love living in Paris? Was that where you enjoyed living the most?
Grandmother: Oh, we had a wonderful time in Paris!

 

MeandMarj: Go blow!

Grandmother: What do you hear from Steve?
Alison: He had to be at work at 7 am this morning!
Grandmother: Good grief! What time does he have to work until?
Alison: He worked until 11 pm last night!
Grandmother: At the bank? I would tell them I only work 9 - 5.
Alison: That wouldn't work.
Grandmother: Well, I wouldn't work there! I'd say, "Go blow!"

MeandMarj: You may never need it!

Grandmother: I use to make all my own clothes.
Alison: Maybe you can make my wedding dress?
Grandmother: You may never need it. Why would I do that?
Oh Lord, Grandmother thinks I'm never getting married!

MeandMarj: How long have you had those shoes?

Grandmother: How long have you had those shoes?
Alison: These? Oh, about 30 years...
Grandmother: They look like it too!
Alison: Why, what makes them look so old?
Grandmother: Well, the heel. Shoes today don't have heels like that anymore.

What decade could she possibly be thinking of????

MeandMarj: Where'd the cake go????

Alison: Where'd the cake go?? It was right in that corner this morning!
Grandmother: What cake? What are you talking about?
I call my dad, and he says the cake was gone when he was at Grandmother's house, and he tells me Grandmother must have thrown it away...
Alison: There was a chocolate peanut butter cake right there in the corner! Grandmother, did you throw it away? Where could it have gone?
Grandmother: Maybe someone snuck in the house today and took it?
Alison: Ha! You totally threw it away! Was it that bad to look at?
Grandmother: Oh Alison, it was awful, just awful!
Alison: I just can't believe you threw it away! You never ever ever throw anything away!
Grandmother: If you could've seen that cake, you would understand.

MeandMarj: You're a mess!

Alison: Grandmother, what are you doing? I thought you were going up to bed.
Grandmother: I'm coming down first to check out your place. Yeah, its not half bad down here...especially since you aren't paying any money for it. This place is nice down here, but you need to put those pictures on the walls and fix your curtains. You're a mess!

MeandMarj: And there's nothing worth watching on television!

While we are sitting at the kitchen table...

Grandmother: Well, there's no point turning the television on. There aren't any good programs any more.
Alison: That's true! What did you use to enjoy watching?
Grandmother: Well, I fondly remember our whole family listening to One Man's Family.
Alison: You mean listening? So you weren't watching the TV?
Grandmother: Oh, no. We would listen to the radio. Everyone. Mother, father, Sid, and Priscilla.
Alison: What was it about?
Grandmother: One man's family!
Alison: Anything else? Was there a plot? Any intrigue? What was interesting about it?
Grandmother: I don't remember all those details, just one man's' family. It's been about 30 years! It was tame though.

http://www.radiohof.org/adventuredrama/oneman.html

MeandMarj: I don't believe in sharing!

Alison: Grandmother, this ring is beautiful!  Does it still fit you? I never see you wear it.
Grandmother struggles to get it on her pinky finger..
Grandmother: It fits just fine.
Alison: Can I try it on? Oh, it fits perfectly!
Grandmother: That's a nice ring you have.
Alison: Isn't it lovely! Louise gave it to me! Try it on. I bet it will fit you perfectly...oh, it does! Why don't we trade? You can wear mine and I'll wear yours!
Grandmother: How do you know you won't lose it?
Alison: Oh, I promise I won't.
Grandmother: You can't promise that. You have yours and I have mine.
Alison: So much for sharing!
Grandmother: I don't believe in sharing!

MeandMarj: Do I have to get up?

Our morning routine consists of me waking Grandmother up around 6:45 / 7 to have a quick breakfast with me before I head to work... 

Alison: Good morning, Grandmother!

Grandmothers gives me a slight groan...
Grandmother: Ohh...what time is it?

Alison: 6:55 - time for breakfast before I go to work.

Grandmother: Do I have to get up?
Alison: No, you can sleep all day if you'd like.

Grandmother: Will I see you here tonight?

Alison: Yes, I'll be back tonight. Have a great day!
Grandmother: Good night!

MeandMarj: Don't you want a bowl for that ice cream?

Alison: Grandmother, don't you want to eat your ice cream in a bowl?
Grandmother: Nope! Don't haggle me!

MeandMarj: Parting is such sweet sorrow!

We are standing in the window waving goodbye to Steve...

Grandmother: Ah, parting is such sweet sorrow!
Alison: Just like Romeo and Juliet...not exactly sure how "sweet" it is.
Grandmother: It certainly will be quiet around here without a man in the house.

MeandMarj: That thing in the corner!

Alison: Oh, Grandmother, I could bake cookies!
Grandmother: No, you will not.
Alison: Why not?
Grandmother: We have too many sweets! We have this cake to eat and that thing in the corner too!

MeandMarj: You look like a bum!

I walk into the kitchen, ready to go to dinner for Steve's birthday in a white strapless dress...

Grandmother: Well, don't you look all decked out! Where are you going?
Alison: We are going out to dinner for Steve's birthday!
Grandmother turns to Steve who is wearing a button down, tucked in, and jeans.
Steve: Grandma, don't I look nice? See? My shirt is tucked in!
Grandmother: You look like a bum!
Grandmother turns to me...
Grandmother: Alison, you are going to let him go looking like that!
Alison: It's not up to me!

MeandMarj: Want a piece of cake?

Grandmother: Want a piece of cake?
Alison: No, thank you. I'm going for a run.
Grandmother: Ugh! You and your running!
Alison: What's wrong with that?
Grandmother: It's stupid!
Alison: Why is it stupid?
Grandmother: It just is! Want a piece of cake?
Alison: No, thank you.
Grandmother: That's to be expected.
Alison: Why?
Grandmother: 'Cause it will make you fat!

MeandMarj: Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Alison: Steve, how was your day? Tell us!

Steve: Well, my boss kidnapped me and we went to Captain's Cove for a few beers.

Alison: Oh! That sounds sketchy...Grandmother, what do you think about that? Do you approve of Steve's boss taking him to Captain's Cove for beers at lunch?

Grandmother: Oh, Alison, boys will be boys!

Alison: What does that mean?

Grandmother: "Oh, Alison, boys will be boys!"

Steve: Why isn't there an expression, "Girls will be girls"?

Grandmother: Sugar and spice and everything nice!

Steve: That's it?

Grandmother: Oh, it's sugar and spice and everything nice!

MeandMarj: Isn't there any sex?

Dad: Okay, time for me to go home and read my book.
Grandmother: Oh, what book are you reading?
Dad: The Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission Report, an in-depth analysis and review of the recent financial crisis.
Grandmother: That sounds horrible...isn't there any sex?
Alison: Oh my!
Dad: No sex, but there were a lot of CDS'.
Grandmother: What?
Dad: Credit default swaps...lots of credit default swaps...like swapping husbands and wives.
Grandmother: Oh, interesting!

MeandMarj: Don't worry my mother had a flop, too!

Grandmother: When my mother was first married, it was up in Cambridge, Massachusetts. My father was going to MIT. It was snowing like crazy out. It was piling up. And she made a cake...or was it a pie? It was a cake I think. It was a flop. I don't know why but it didn't turn out right. So, she opened up the window and threw it out. Well, it was quickly covered up with the snow. Next spring, when my father was out cleaning out the yard, he comes across this cake and he goes, "Good gracious! How did this cake get out here?" So, she had to confess!
Alison: So, what happened when she confessed?
Grandmother: I don't know. He didn't beat her up or anything. He probably laughed!

MeandMarj: Are you excited for Steve to get here?

Alison: Grandmother, see? This is my blog!
Grandmother: B-L-O-G?
Alison: Exactly! Its my online diary. Are you excited? Steve will be here in an hour!
Grandmother: Oh! That's great! Any man in the house improves things! You should write that down.
Alison: Oh, okay, I will.
Grandmother: Do we need to get him dinner?
Alison: Oh no, we are getting sushi later.
Grandmother: Sushi? What's that?
Alison: Raw fish.

Grandmother strongly reacts to the thought of raw fish!
Grandmother: Even the name is repulsive. I'd rather eat cornflakes!
Alison: Don't worry, Dad is bringing dinner for you!
Grandmother: Oh, okay.

MeandMarj: Steve's Birthday Cake: Take Two

Grandmother: What else did you get at the store?
Alison: Cake mix and frosting for Steve's birthday cake!
Grandmother: How do you know that's what he likes?
Alison: Because he told me. Look at the mess I made of that one...
Grandmother: (laughing) That is the strangest looking cake I have ever seen! I actually have never seen a cake look like that before!
Alison: Well, that's why I'm making another one!
Grandmother looks at the package...

Grandmother: Well, if that girl can make it, you certainly can!

Cake comes out of the oven - not bad - ready to frost

Alison: Okay, Grandmother, I'm going to put this cake on top of this cake, just like this!
Grandmother: Okay.

I've frosted the between layer and placed the other cake on top...

Grandmother: You've already messed it up!
Alison: How? I just asked you if I put that piece on top and you agreed?
Grandmother: You put it on top the wrong way...to me that's common sense. I guess you don't have any.
Alison: What should I do?
Grandmother: Just keep slopping it on there!
Alison: Well, I guess I'll just frost it the way it is.
Grandmother: You are doing a great job!
Alison: Are you making fun of me?
Grandmother: No, you are doing a great job, just like I said.
Dad: Should I have a slice? Just to test it before Steve gets here?
Alison: You can eat that other cake, if you want.

Cake one and cake two...

MeandMarj: I don't approve of that!

I walk in the door from work with a bag from Target....coming home from "jeans Friday" at work...

Grandmother: How was your day?
Alison: Great! I was at work all day. 

Grandmother: You wore that!?!
Alison: Yes, you can wear jeans on Friday.
Grandmother: Well, I don't approve of that! Whatcha got there?
Alison: Presents! Toilet paper and laundry detergent!

Grandmother chuckles...
Grandmother: Those are great presents! You always need toilet paper. How much do I owe you?
Alison: $50.
Grandmother: $50!!! No, really?
Alison: You don't owe me anything! It's the least I can do.
Grandmother: Oh, that's right! You don't pay rent and you do your laundry for free. How much would it cost to do your laundry in one of those machines?
Alison: $5.
Grandmother: $5! That's outrageous! You can do your laundry here for free!
Alison: Thanks, Grandmother!

MeandMarj: I want to know what you're saying about me!

Alison: Grandmother, you are quite popular! Everyone is loving my blog!

Grandmother: Huh? What are you talking about?
Alison: I'm sharing my experience living with you with my friends on the internet.
Grandmother: I don't get it.

Dad: Mom, Alison is sharing her diary with her friends and telling them about living with you.

Grandmother: Well, I want to know what you are saying about me!
Alison: Grandmother, here is the blog. See? The picture of us is on the internet!

Grandmother: So, you need to know how to type to work one of those things.

Alison: Not necessarily, but it's helpful.

Grandmother: Where did you learn to do that? Do they teach you that in school?

Alison: Yes, there was a typing class in 7th grade, about 16 years ago. Didn't you learn to type? You didn't type Grandpa's papers when he was in grad school?

Grandmother: Certainly not!

MandMarj: That is the darndest looking cake I've ever seen!

Grandmother is hunched over staring intently at the cake on the counter...

Grandmother: That is the darndest looking cake I've ever seen! What is it supposed to be?
Alison: It's a chocolate peanut butter cake with Reese's cups on top.
Grandmother: You say, Steve likes this!?!
Alison: Yes, but I don't know what happened to it? I didn't do anything!
Grandmother: Well, that's your problem!
Alison: Well, I guess I couldn't have expected it to come out perfect the first time around, could I?
Grandmother: Yes, you could have! I've never in my life seen anything like this! That is the strangest looking cake!
Alison: I'm going to take a picture.
Grandmother: That's a great idea! Show your grandkids! They won't believe it!

MeandMarj: I don't give a damn!

I took the butter out from the carton and I am about to throw away the carton...

Grandmother: Put the butter back in the carton and into the fridge.

Alison: Grandmother, we don't need this carton, and it takes up space.

Grandmother: It keeps it fresh! Do as I say!

Alison: Did you do as I say? Did you take your pills?

Grandmother: What pills?

Alison: The pills that you are supposed to take every day! I just gave them to you in the living room. Grandmother, you have been really bad about taking your medicine. 

Grandmother: I don't give a damn!

MeandMarj: What can I get Steve for his birthday?

Alison: Grandmother, I have to get ready. Steve arrives tomorrow and it's his birthday!
Grandmother: Oh, well, I should get him something? What does he need?
Alison: I don't know what he needs.
Grandmother: Well, if you don't know, who does?
Alison: How about some new golf clubs?
Grandmother: Golf clubs!?! Golf clubs are expensive!
Alison: How about golf balls?
Grandmother: How about a golf ball? I could probably find a golf ball in that drawer over there!

Sorry Steve - I tried :-)

MeandMarj: The Best Christmas Ever

A little early, but who ever complains about a little Christmas cheer :-) Our antlers were supposed to blink... 
Grandmother: Am I blinking?
Dad: Blinking, winking, and nodding!
Grandmother: This is the best Christmas I've ever had!

MeandMarj: The Radiator

Alison: Ah, the apartment in Nashville. Grandmother, you remember the apartment in Nashville?
Grandmother: Oh yes, that radiator put off a lot of heat!
Alison: It sure did.
Grandmother: Those wood floors needed carpeting, the windows needed a new paint job, the stairs needed carpeting, the shutters needed work. Boy, your landlord needs to fix this place up!
Alison: Oh, Grandmother, you should give him a piece of your mind!
Grandmother: Oh, I will!

The Corleeeee girls in Nashville

MeandMarj: Steve, get rid of that hanger!

The Hultquist ladies and the Corle ladies are gathering for a picture with Steve and he has a hanger in his hand!


Grandmother: Get rid of that hanger! That is unacceptable for this picture!

No one listened to grandmother (although we should have :-)) It looks so silly!

All was well with the KKG pic :-)

MeandMarj: Wedding at 85!

Alison: I can't believe you are getting married! Are you so excited?
Grandmother: Not bad for an old lady! Getting married at 85!

Grandmother's wedding day (Grandmother and Larry)

The cousins

MeandMarj: Babies?

Alison: Why did you only have Dad? Why only one child?
Grandmother: Oh, you'll see! Whoever tells you it's fun is lying!
Alison: What do you mean? Why was it so awful?
Grandmother: You'll know!
Alison: Grandmother, you've told me it's so awful, I'll never know! Because you've warned me so much, why would I risk it?
Grandmother: Oh you have to try it at least once.
Alison: Why? You just told me how awful it was!
Grandmother: You have to have at least one, it's what makes the world go 'round!

MeandMarj: For My Chi Omegas...

Alison: Grandmother, what is this lamp doing on this chair in the entry way?

Grandmother: Oh, I found this lamp and was thinking you may need a lamp down there.

Alison: I'm pretty sure I don't need any extra lamps, but sure I'll take it downstairs.

MeandMarj: Buster Corle

Alison: Grandmother, what was it like dating boys at Duke?
Grandmother: Well, you see, the boys' campus was separate from the girls' campus.
Alison: So, you didn't see boys at all? You must have dated some boys?
Grandmother: I guess I must have, they must not have been that memorable.
Alison: Well, you must have remembered Grandpa?

Grandmother: Oh, I remember exactly where I met him. I was a transfer student at Boston University from UCLA. We were at MIT listening to a football game. A bunch of us, and I went around to introduce myself. He had reddish hair and was tall. I introduced myself.

Alison: How did you introduce yourself? Hi, I'm Marjorie Anne Dudley?

Grandmother: I said, "Hi, I'm Marjorie Dudley." And he introduced himself as Buster Corle. I said, "Come on, that's not your name." He said, "Well, everyone calls me Buster." So I asked, "What's your real name? You must have a real name!" He told me his name was Fred Corle. So, I told him that's what I would call him! Two days later he called me up and asked me for a date!

MeandMarj: What if someone saw you in this crucial moment?

I'm changing to go running when Grandmother walks downstairs...

Grandmother: Oh my! What if some man walks in at this crucial moment?
Alison: What man would walk in? Grandmother, there are no men in this house!
Grandmother: Well, your father just left.
Alison: Grandmother, he isn't going to come down here. Now, how do these presents look for Steve?
Grandmother: Oh, they look great.
Alison: What if he doesn't like it?
Grandmother: Well, then he's crazy! So, we are just waiting for him to put a TV up there (she points to the wall space above the fireplace)
Alison: Yup, we are just waiting for him to get that TV up there :-)
Grandmother: You just need a table right here (referring to the need for a cocktail table)
Two seconds later she gets up and starts walking away...
Alison: Where are you going?
Grandmother: I'm hunting for a table
Alison: Oh, okay. How are you feeling?
Grandmother: Oh, just tired.
Alison: Well, you gotta keep moving! Keep your energy level up!
Grandmother: Oh, I'd love to see you at 88, 91, or however old I am. This place is nice down here! I think I'll present you with a bill at the end of the month!
Alison: Okay, how much do you charge?
Grandmother: Well, since its Old Town, 100.
Alison: That sounds fair.
Grandmother: You could even have a friend sleep down here.
Alison: Can Steve sleep down here?
Grandmother: Not with you, unless you sneak him down here...
Alison: Oh, okay.

Grandmother in my "apartment"

 Steve's presents

MeandMarj: Well, that's not very nice.

Alison: Steve arrives on Friday. It's his birthday on Sunday!
Grandmother: Oh, do we need to get things for dinner?
Alison: Oh no, we'll go out to dinner. You don't need to worry about a thing.
Grandmother: Well, that's not very nice. What do you want me to do?

Alison: Smile, look nice, and change into something other than your robe.

Grandmother: Okay, I can do that.

MeandMarj: Won't be noticed on a galloping horse.

Alison: Grandmother, want to wash my dishes for me?
Grandmother: I want you to wash them, dry them, and put them away. Oh, you have a wrinkle in your skirt.
Alison: Oh no, really? I just ironed it. Do I need to go iron it again?
Grandmother: Oh, it won't be noticed on a galloping horse.
Alison: Well, I certainly won't be galloping on a horse today!
Grandmother: Well, that's what my mother used to always say...Why does your skirt sit low on your hips that way? It should be at your waste!
Alison: I'm just so skinny that it doesn't fit around my waste..look!

Grandmother: Oh! You are right. Okay...better buy some skirts that fit you properly!

MeandMarj: Up or Down?

Grandmother: Now, this stool is really beautiful isn't it? To think I designed it and made it...
Alison: Oh, grandmother it really is beautiful!
Grandmother: You want it?
Alison: Sure! I'll take it!
Grandmother: Well, you can have it when I'm gone.
Alison: Where do you think you're going?
Grandmother: Who knows! Either up or down.

MeandMarj: Good Grief!

Sitting in the living room

Grandmother: I look around and see all the things I've done. I did this stool, I did this painting, I did those chairs. That painting of grandma... 

Alison: Oh, Grandmother, you are so talented.
Grandmother: Oh sure, I never made any money doing it though.
Alison: That's okay, though. You don't need to make money to be happy. You enjoyed doing it though, right?
Grandmother: Oh yes, I really did! I did that mirror out in the hall. Somebody had that, and they were going to do something with it and they never got around to it. And they said, "You want it?" I said, "Oh, sure!" And I took it, and I guilded it and I worked that design over the mirror. And when they saw it, they were sad they gave it up.

Grandmother: Now, how old are you?
Alison: 27.
Grandmother: Good grief! You're getting up there! Now, how old is Steve?
Alison: He turns 31 on Sunday.
Grandmother: Oh gosh!

Grandmother: I gotta get up to go to bed, I just don't think I have the energy to do it.
Alison: Yes, you can. You can do it!
Grandmother: Yeah, I know.

MeandMarj: No one is going to brow beat me!

Alison: What are these pills doing in your box for Monday?
Dad: I thought she took all her pills. There are pills in the box for Monday?
Alison: Yes, Dad, they are right here!
Dad: She must have put them back in there! Mom, did you put those pills back in the box for Monday?
Grandmother: Who me!?!
Dad: She put those pills back in the box! Mom, you're lying. That's not good. Lying, cheating, stealing... you gotta shape up! 

Dad has a tomato in his hand.
Grandmother: What are you doing stealing my tomato?
Alison: Come on, Grandmother, take your pills!
Dad: If you don't take your pills, I'm going to throw them out!
Grandmother: No, you won't! They cost money!
Alison: Come on, Grandmother, you have to!
Grandmother: No one is going to brow beat me! I'm older than you!
Dad: Well, I'm leaving. Mom, take your pills.
Grandmother: Don't tell me what to do! Wait, I need to see you out. No one walks through my door that I don't see out!

Sitting in the living room
Alison: Okay, Grandmother, let's take your pills, I'll go get them for you.
As I start walking back towards the kitchen...
Grandmother (sheepishly): I'll go get them. You won't bring them out to me.

MeandMarj: School is school.

Grandmother: I went to three colleges: Duke, UCLA, and Boston University (BU). I called it P-U.
Alison: Why didn't you like BU?
Grandmother: Oh it was just an old building...there wasn't a campus or anything like that. AND, it was near rail road tracks. (She bursts out laughing!)
Alison: What was your favorite school?
Grandmother: School is school.
Alison: Come on, which did you like best?
Grandmother: I really liked Duke and UCLA.
Alison: Did you live with boys in your dorm at Duke?
Grandmother: Oh no, boys were only allowed in the sitting area.
Alison: So, who monitored this?
Grandmother: I don't know...you just didn't do that!

MeandMarj: Where've you been all day?

It's 7:30 pm and I walk in the door and shout, "I'm home!"
Grandmother: Who's there?
Alison: It's me, Alison! (Not sure who else it would be ...)
Grandmother: Where've you been all day?
Alison: Working!
Grandmother: Until now!?!
Alison: Yes, I am just getting home now from work. This is early!
Grandmother: Doesn't anyone work 9 - 5 any more?
Alison: Not quite.
Grandmother: Don't you think you can convince them that you can leave a little earlier? Tell them you need to be home for dinner at 6.
Alison: I don't think that would work. What should I say?
Grandmother: You just tell them you only work 9 - 5 and that's that!
Alison: If only...