MeandMarj: That should feed 10 people!

Grandmother: I want to pay for dinner! Here is $20.
Alison: Oh, Grandmother, thank you but that isn't exactly enough.
Grandmother: What!?! That should feed 10 people!

MeandMarj: Well, someone's gotta do it!

Grandmother: Now, you eat that half of chocolate.
Alison: But I already had one piece! You are trying to fatten me up!
Grandmother: Well, someone's gotta do it!

MeandMarj: Oh, okay!

Grandmother: Hand me that knife.
Alison: I don't think this knife will cut that thick piece of chocolate. Let me get another one and cut it.
Grandmother: Hey! One's bigger than the other.
Alison: You get the bigger one.
Grandmother: oh okay!

MeandMarj: I will!

Alison: Grandmother, don't forget to brush your teeth.
Grandmother: I will.
Alison: You mean, you won't?
Grandmother: I will forget!

MeandMarj: I'd sue 'em!

Alison: I'm home!
Grandmother: I'd sue 'em!
Alison: What do you mean?
Grandmother: I'd sue those people you work for! Making you work this late!
Alison: It's only 8. I had work to do. You wouldn't stop making your bed if you were in the middle of it, would you?
Grandmother: Yes, I would!

MeandMarj: Then I'm a triple, triple, triple old witch!

Alison: Tory, so Grandmother flips open the visor and looks in the mirror and goes, "I look like an old witch!"
Grandmother: If you look like an old witch, then I'm a triple, triple, triple old witch!

MeandMarj: I'm trying to read the front of your shirt!

Alison: Can you hear the music?
Grandmother: I'm trying to read the front of your shirt!

MeandMarj: My two front teeth!

Alison: What would you like for Christmas?
Grandmother: My two front teeth!

MeandMarj: I look like an old witch!

Grandmother: I look like an old witch!
Alison: No, you don't!
Grandmother: Yes, I do!

MeandMarj: I don't care if they are the Orangeskins!

Grandmother: Is anybody watching this football?
Dad: Mom, it's the Redskins!
Grandmother: I don't care if they are the Orangeskins...Blueskins...Whateverskins...

MeandMarj: Turkey?

Alison: Better save room for dessert.
Grandmother: What's for dessert?
Alison: Guess.
Grandmother: Ice Cream!
Alison: Okay, but what would we have for dessert on Thanksgiving?
Grandmother: Turkey?
Alison: For dessert?
Grandmother: Mmmm.
Alison: Pumpkin Pie!
Grandmother: Oh yeah...I forgot...

MeandMarj: You are doing great!

Alison: Grandmother, will you help me with the Waldorf salad?
Grandmother: You can do it.
Alison: But, I don't know how to cut the apple correctly...you'll say I didn't do it right.
Grandmother: You are doing great!
Alison: But, Grandmother, you aren't even looking.
After Grandmother looks
Grandmother: Oh, you need to cut the pieces smaller.
Alison: See, I told you - you needed to look!

MeandMarj: It looks horrible!

Alison: Grandmother, why don't you go set the table?
Alison: Oh wow...Grandmother, the table looks great.
Grandmother: No, it doesn't...it looks horrible!
Alison: Oh, whats wrong?
Grandmother: The tablecloth is washed but not ironed.
Alison: Should we take it off and iron it?
Grandmother: No, by the time we cover it up with the plates and serving dishes, no one will notice.
Alison: Okay, sounds good to me.

MeandMarj: Tomorrow?

Alison: Get excited - tomorrow is Thanksgiving!
Grandmother: Tomorrow? I thought it was two days away.
Alison: No - its tomorrow!
Grandmother: Already?
Alison: Yup!

MeandMarj: You'll learn!

Grandmother: You aren't supposed to brown the edges of your pie like that.
Alison: Okay, I'm sorry I messed it up.
Grandmother: That's okay, you'll learn!

MeandMarj: Ice Cream!

Alison: Grandmother, what are you thankful for?
Grandmother: Ice Cream!

MeandMarj: She doing good!

Thank you for your note Eden!

MeandMarj: Why are you so late this morning?

Grandmother: What time is it?
Alison: 8:15.
Grandmother: What time do you need to leave for work?
Alison: I should have left already.
Grandmother: Why are you so late this morning?
Alison: I slept in.
Grandmother: Why did you do that?
Alison: I was tired.
Grandmother: Well, shouldn't you get going?
Alison: Yes, ma'am!

MeandMarj: That would be great!

Alison: Please, go get dressed! You are running around here practically naked in your nightgown.
Grandmother: So?
Alison: What would you do if I ran around here naked?
Grandmother: That would be great!

MeandMarj: Go put on your charming clothes!

Alison: I'm taking Steve to a charming hotel.
Grandmother: Well, Steve, you better go put on your charming clothes!
Steve: Okay.
Grandmother: Where is your jacket!?! And tie!?!

MeandMarj: You are ripping my ear off!

Alison: Okay, let's get this turtleneck sweater off.
Grandmother: Wait a minute!
Alison: Come on!
Grandmother: You are ripping my ear off!
Alison: No, I'm not! It's right here!

MeandMarj: What's that "hog calling" all about?

Alison attempting to sing: Bah bah black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir...three bags full.
Grandmother: What's that "hog calling" all about?

MeandMarj: There's only one right way to do it!

Alison: Grandmother! I'm so excited you showed me the real way to puff up the pillows!
Grandmother: Well, sure, there's only one right way to do it!

MeandMarj: Now? Are you crazy?

Alison: Want to wash your hair now? It's 9:15 pm.
Grandmother: Now? Are you crazy?

MeandMarj: Gotta do something to it!

Grandmother: My hair is a mess.
Alison: I'm going to wash it tomorrow...how does that sound?
Grandmother: Gotta do something to it!

MeandMarj: I don't have to do anything!

Alison: Okay, I'll pick out my favorite options and then you have to select one.
Grandmother: I don't have to do anything!
Alison: Okay, I'll choose it for you - don't you want a new robe?
Grandmother: I don't care.

MeandMarj: Funny? Funny, "haha"?

Alison: What do you want to do?
Grandmother: Mildew.
Alison: Let's go make something!
Grandmother: I don't like to cook.
Alison: I'll cook and you can watch - you like to eat?
Grandmother: Not especially.
Alison: Okay, you can just sit there and do nothing.
Grandmother: What are you doing?
Alison: Writing down everything you say because it's funny!
Grandmother: Funny? Funny, "haha"?

MeandMarj: We just finished breakfast!

Alison: What should we have for lunch today?
Grandmother: We just finished breakfast!
Alison: What did you have?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: So, it doesn't count.

MeandMarj: Of course I'm going to vote!

Phone rings....

Grandmother: I'm coming...I'm coming....I'm coming!

Grandmother: Hello?

Grandmother: What? I can't hear you! What? Who is this? I can't hear you!

Grandmother pauses...

Grandmother: OF COURSE I'M GOING TO VOTE!

Grandmother slams the phone down.

MeandMarj: Bag - it?

Alison: It sure is wet out there.
Grandmother: You could say that again.
Alison: Well, I have a present for you.
Grandmother: Oh, what is it?
Alison: Guess!
Grandmother: Bag - it? 

(She meant, "baguette?")
Alison: No...
Grandmother: It's a cookie! It's a pumpkin! Aw, cute...did you see this?
Alison: I did! I bought it! How is it?
Grandmother: It was alright.

MeandMarj: Of course, Dr. Kaufman, I'll take my pills.

Alison: The problem, Doctor, is she won't take her pills.
Dr. Kaufman: Now now, is that true beautiful lady?
Grandmother: Oh Doctor, I don't really like those pills.
Dr. Kaufman: Won't you please take them for us?
Grandmother: Sure, Doctor, of course I'll my pills.
Alison: Uh, Dr. Kaufman I'd like to take a picture of this! Now, you promise you'll take your pills?
Grandmother: Okay!

MeandMarj: It's a Naval Academy ring.

Grandmother: You know, I almost thought I lost this ring.
Alison: Grandmother, this is very special, you can't lose it!
Grandmother: I know...it's a Naval Academy ring. You know, not many people have the Naval Academy ring.
Alison: Oh really, why?
Grandmother: I don't know, but my mother did when she was engaged, you know.
Alison: Well, let's make sure we keep it in a safe place.

Inscribed: FWC and MAD 9/10/42 and always!

(Frederic William Corle and Marjorie Anne Dudley)

MeandMarj: Well then, it's about time!

At the doctor's office and they are about to take Grandmother's blood pressure...

Alison: Grandmother, don't take off that jacket. You aren't wearing a shirt underneath.
Grandmother: Well, if they haven't seen a naked woman's body by now, well then, it's about time!
Dr. Kaufman: So you normally go around topless?
Grandmother: Of course!

MeandMarj: You are a great driver!

Grandmother: You are a great driver - you really know where you are going!
Alison: Thank you, Grandmother.
Grandmother: No one has ever given me such a compliment...ever!

MeandMarj: My father was strict!

Alison: What was it like growing up in your household?
Grandmother: My father was strict!
Alison: What do you mean?
Grandmother: One time my mother went shopping...we always did our shopping in Seattle when we lived in Bremerton...and she bought these beautiful high heel shoes. We came home and she was so proud of them and tried them on for my father. He was so mad because he thought high heel shoes were stupid so he took the shoe and broke off the heel. Mother was so upset, she cried!
Alison: Oh that's so sad! What did you do?
Grandmother: We stayed out of that!

MeandMarj: You have a big mouth!

Alison: Here is a picture from my birthday last year.
Grandmother: Gee, you have a big mouth!

MeandMarj: Wait a minute...

Grandmother: Anybody down there?
Alison: Yup! You want to come down here?
Grandmother: Wait a minute...I want to talk to you....
Alison: Okay....let's look at kitchen mats...what color do you want?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: Okay...how about this one?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: You aren't being very helpful.
Grandmother: I don't feel like being very helpful.

MeandMarj: Do you have to go to work tomorrow?

Alison: Yay! Tomorrow is Friday!
Grandmother: Do you have to go to work tomorrow?
Alison: Yes, it's Friday but then it's Saturday and I don't have to go to work!
Grandmother: That's nice.

MeandMarj: Does she get paid to do that?

Grandmother: Who sent you that stunning jacket?
Alison: Louise! Isn't she generous?
Grandmother: Where does she get her money?
Alison: She's a doctor!
Grandmother: Does she get paid to do that?
Alison: Yes, she is a surgeon! She doesn't do that for free!

MeandMarj: Wake me up for breakfast!

Alison: Okay, good night.
Grandmother: Wait, crack my window...not that much...a little more....a little less...okay...that's fine.
Alison: Okay, sleep well.
Grandmother: Wake me up for breakfast!
Alison: Will do! Good night!
Grandmother: Sleep tight...don't let the bed bugs bite!

MeandMarj: You are just stupid!

Grandmother: What are you doing? Doing laundry at this hour? You're crazy!
Alison: Grandmother, its only 7:30 and I am going to watch the debate, and then I am going to get up early tomorrow and go for a run and then pack because I leave straight from work tomorrow so I have to do laundry now. I'm not crazy!
Grandmother: You're not crazy, you are just stupid!

MeandMarj: What did I do?

Alison: How was your day?
Grandmother: Fine.
Alison: What did you do?
Grandmother: What did I do? Mildewed!

MeandMarj: I'd say, "Forget it!"

Alison: Grandmother, what would you say if your husband wanted you to work?
Grandmother: I'd say, "Forget it!"

MeandMarj: You better!

Alison: Okay, my taxi is here!
Grandmother: Wait a minute! What are you doing?
Alison: I'm going to dinner...I haven't had mine yet. I'll be home by 9:30.
Grandmother: You better!

MeandMarj: He studies like the dickens!

Alison: I'm home!
Grandmother: Where's your better half?
Alison: He's studying!
Grandmother: He studies like the dickens!

MeandMarj: They always tell me how beautiful I am!

Alison: How was Lee's? Do you like your hairdo?

Grandmother: Oh, you know.

Alison: What do you mean?

Grandmother: They always tell me how beautiful I am!

MeandMarj: I am thankful for many things....

Alison: Ooooh, look at this fabulous magnet we received! 

"I am thankful for many things...but mostly for good wine and my exquisite taste in friends!"

Don't you love it! Stand here and smile :-)

MeandMarj: Yes, I prop my window with Chanel #5.

Alison: It may be difficult to see....

                                 But, that is a box of Chanel #5 propping up Grandmother's window!

MeandMarj: The largest grocery store I've ever seen in all my life!

Alison: How was it?
Grandmother: I went to the largest grocery store I've ever seen in all my life!
Alison: Oh, Grandmother, wait until you see Tysons Corner! You won't recognize it!
Grandmother: It was worse than Tysons!
Alison: Are you sure?
Grandmother: I felt like I was coming back to my little ole country town in Alexandria.
Alison: Wait, were you in Tysons?
Grandmother: Yes, we were!

MeandMarj: $100

Alison: Anything else I can get you?
Grandmother: Yes.
Alison: What?
Grandmother: $100.

MeandMarj: Is today Friday?

Alison: I'm so happy tomorrow is Saturday!
Grandmother: Is today Friday?
Alison: Yup.
Grandmother: Okay.

MeandMarj: Why should it be anything but?

Alison: How's your ice water?
Grandmother: It's fine - why should it be anything but?
Alison: But you aren't drinking it?
Grandmother: So?

MeandMarj: I can't imagine why!?!

Alison: Well, I'm excited to see Steve.
Grandmother: You are? I can't imagine why!?!

MeandMarj: Jeeeeepers!

Alison: I can't believe its 6 o'clock already.
Grandmother: Time does sure fly by.
Alison: I know! Can you believe you are 92?
Grandmother: Really? Thats how old I am? Are you sure?
Alison: Yes...I'm sure. You were born in 1920 and its 2012. In fact, your birthday is in March and you'll be 93!
Grandmother: Jeeepers!

MeandMarj: I was wondering whose that was...

Grandmother sees a towel with my monogram on it...

Grandmother: Whose towel is this?  

Alison: Oh, that's mine.
Grandmother: I was wondering whose that was...I thought it was somebody's.

MeandMarj: Not that open!

Alison: Okay good night, you are all tucked in.
Grandmother: Thank you for tucking me in.
Alison: You're welcome.
Grandmother: Leave the door open.
Alison: Okay.
Grandmother: Not that open.
Alison: How's this? (one more inch)
Grandmother: That's good.

MeandMarj: How about $5?

Grandmother: Now don't let me forget your birthday.
Alison: I won't! But you can just write me a check.
Grandmother: Okay.
Alison: How much do you want to write it for?
Grandmother: How about $5?
Alison: Okay - that will get me my coffee on my birthday :-)

MeandMarj: Thank you! No...Thank you!

Grandmother: Thank you for everything.
Alison: No, thank you for letting me live with you.
Grandmother: No, thank you for taking care of me!

MeandMarj: She got it from me!

Looking at old pictures....
Alison: Look at Tory's hair - it was so blonde and it still is! Where did she get that hair?
Grandmother: She got it from me! I have white hair.

MeandMarj: The Romney Poster Resurfaces!

Alison: Ah, the Romney poster is back! Where did you find it?
Grandmother: I don't know...around here somewhere?
Alison: But where?
Grandmother: I don't know....

MeandMarj: Wait - you have to tuck me in!

Alison: Did you brush your teeth?
Grandmother: Yes.
Alison: Okay, why isn't your toothbrush wet? Let's brush your teeth. Okay, good night!
Grandmother: Wait - you have to tuck me in!
Alison: Okay, I'm waiting....
Grandmother: Okay, good night.
Alison: Now, you are all tucked in. Good night!

MeandMarj: The Romney Poster Mystery

Dad brings home a Romney poster and places it in the front window of the house. That evening it is out of the window. We put it back in the window and it gets taken out of the window every day for about a week and placed on the ground below the window. Eventually it can no longer be found...two weeks later I am fluffing up the sofa pillow in the grand salon when I find the Romney poster under the sofa cushion!

We put the poster back in the window and come home this evening to find the poster is missing...again! It is no longer under the sofa cushion...

Alison: Grandmother, where is the Romney poster?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: You didn't put it under the sofa cushion did you?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Where did you put it?
Grandmother: I didn't do anything with it.
Alison: You must know where it is!
Grandmother: I have no idea....

MeandMarj: We gotta go to bed!

Grandmother: We gotta go to bed!
Alison: Okay, let's go.
Grandmother: Because by my watch, it's 12 minutes to 9.
Alison: Okay, lets go.

MeandMarj: Is it Friday?

Grandmother: How was your day?
Alison: Ugh, I'm glad it's over.
Grandmother: Is it Friday?
Alison: It's only Tuesday!
Grandmother: Oh no!

MeandMarj: Happy Grandparents' Day!

Alison: Happy Grandparents' Day!
Grandmother: Oh?
Alison: We need to celebrate you for being a fabulous Grandmother!
Grandmother: I'm not fabulous.
Alison: Why not? Don't you think it's pretty generous of you to let me live here?
Grandmother: No. I have plenty of bedrooms.
Alison: Okay!

MeandMarj: She comes to town and you don't feed her?

Alison: My friend is coming into town tomorrow night - where should we go to dinner?
Grandmother: That's not very nice. She comes to town and you don't feed her?
Alison: Given my experience in the kitchen, I think it would be more insulting if I tried to cook something.

MeandMarj: Where are you going dressed like that?

Grandmother: Where are you going dressed like that?
Alison: The gym.
Grandmother: It's too late.
Alison: No, it's not! It's only 7:30.
Grandmother: Well, you aren't going!
Alison: Grandmother - I worked all day long and should have woken up at 5 but I slept in and didn't get up until 7 and worked from 8 to 8 and all I want to do is go to the gym for half an hour.
Grandmother: Okay, half an hour!

MeandMarj: That's the tall man!

Grandmother: That's the tall man! And that's the short girl!

MeandMarj: Someone always puts toothpaste on my toothbrush!

Grandmother: Someone always puts toothpaste on my toothbrush.
Alison: Who do you think?
Grandmother: I have no idea!

MeandMarj: Yup!

Alison: Are you glad you finished?
Grandmother: Yup! Because it's upstairs in my drawer and I can go upstairs and show it to you. Do you have a degree?
Alison: Yes, I do. I have 3.
Grandmother: What? Really?
Alison: Yes, I do!
Grandmother: You are such a smarty!

MeandMarj: What was I?

Grandmother: You weren't in a sorority?
Alison: I was! Chi Omega - go Chi O! Chi Omega - go Chi O!
Grandmother: What was I?
Alison: Kappa Kappa Gamma.
Grandmother: I didn't join until I was at UCLA. There was no reason to at Duke. I needed a place to live at UCLA.
Alison: Oh, Grandmother.
Grandmother: It's true!
Alison: Did a lot of women go to college then?
Grandmother: Oh yeah...at Duke, they had a woman's campus and a men's campus.
Alison: Did you see the men?
Grandmother: Oh sure, we use to date them and everything else, but they were on separate campuses.
Alison: Did you keep up with your Kappa sisters from UCLA?
Grandmother: No, because I have my degree from Boston University. I started in Duke, then I transferred. My father went to the Pacific Fleet out of Long Beach California, so I transferred out there. He was out there for 2 years and then he transferred back to the east coast. I never thought I'd get out of school. I was determined. I was a very determined person. I have my degree right upstairs in my drawer. I was determined.
Alison: Why were you so determined?
Grandmother: I just was. I was a very determined person when it came to getting my degree.

MeandMarj: Just don't go.

Alison: I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
Grandmother: Don't go.
Alison: Then what?
Grandmother: You get fired.
Alison: And then what do I do?
Grandmother: Come home.

MeandMarj: We always shared our birthday!

Alison: What theme should I have for my birthday party this year?
Grandmother: Priscilla and I always shared a birthday. Mother would throw the party in between our birthdays. Priscilla's birthday is March 27 and mine is March 31.
Alison: What would you have at the party?
Grandmother: We would always have a white cake with yellow candles.
Alison: What else?
Grandmother: Well, that was about it...as I recall.

MeandMarj: Work? No, really?

Alison: I'm glad to be home!
Grandmother: I'm glad you feel you are at home. What made you decide to come up this way?
Alison: Well, I have a job at Marriott. I'm going to work tomorrow.
Grandmother: Work? No, really?
Alison: Yes, I have to go to work tomorrow.
Grandmother: You really do?
Alison: Yes. Can I stay here for awhile?
Grandmother: You can stay as long as you like.

MeandMarj: I was looking for my table and chairs!

Alison: Look at the nice "Thank You" note my friend wrote me.
Grandmother: I was looking at this and it says, "Thank you for the patio table and chairs," and I looked outside and didn't see my patio table and chairs and thought you gave her mine.
Alison: Oh, Grandmother - I wouldn't do that! Your table and chairs are being repaired.
Grandmother: Oh, okay... I didn't know what to think!

MeandMarj: The husband makes the money - you spend the money!

Alison: But when you are married, you have to share everything!
Grandmother: Like?
Alison: Like your money.
Grandmother: The husband makes the money - you spend the money!

MeandMarj: Oh no!

Grandmother: Your bed is already made.
Alison: I've already been up for two hours. I went to the gym and ran 4 miles.
Grandmother: Oh no!

MeandMarj: It's ice cream!

Alison: Grandmother, step on this scale.
Grandmother: 143.
Alison: Grandmother, you better stop eating ice cream!

Alison: Where are you going?
Grandmother: Upstairs for breakfast.

20 minutes later I walk into the kitchen...

Alison: Grandmother, what are you doing? That doesn't look like breakfast!
Grandmother: It's ice cream!

MeandMarj: That would be something!

Grandmother: Anybody down there?
Alison: Yes, I'm getting dressed!

Grandmother comes down the stairs

Grandmother: You're naked!
Alison: I told you I was getting dressed. Obviously if I was getting dressed I wasn't dressed before. What if we lived in a nudist colony?
Grandmother: That would be something!

MeandMarj: It's a little skimpy!

Grandmother: Is this my suitcase?
Alison: Yes, I'm borrowing it.
Grandmother: Why?
Alison: I'm going to Colorado for my friend's engagement party. I'm going to wear this dress....




Alison: You don't like it?
Grandmother: It's a little skimpy.

MeandMarj: What!?!

Alison: Grandmother, hows it going?
Grandmother: Fine. Where are you?
Alison: I'm at work. I'm just calling to check-in. I'll see you tonight.
Grandmother: Okay. What time?
Alison: 8 or  9.
Grandmother: What!?!
Alison: Grandmother, someone has to work in this household. I'll see you later!

MeandMarj: That sounds so boring!

Alison: Time to go to bed. Got to get up at 5:30 run, 6 miles and go to work for 12 hours.
Grandmother: That sounds so boring!
Alison: Well, it's a good thing you do what you do and I do what I do :-)

MeandMarj: How should I know?

Alison: Grandmother, what was it like when you were 28?
Grandmother: How should I know?
Alison: Because you lived it?
Grandmother: I don't remember.
Alison: It was only 64 years ago.
Grandmother: ONLY!

MeandMarj: Good music!

Alison: What music do you want to listen to?
Grandmother: Good music!
Alison: Okay, what do you consider good music?
Grandmother: I don't know - good music!
Alison: Okay, not 1920s?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Definitely not 1950s or  60s?
Grandmother: No...I don't know. I'm so old, I don't remember.
Alison: I know! 1940s! How's this? Benny Goodman?
Grandmother: This is good!

MeandMarj: Do you know how to drive?

Alison: Ready to go for a ride?

Grandmother: Do you know how to drive?
Alison: Yes, Grandmother, I know how to drive.

MeandMarj: You look half dead!

Grandmother: You look half dead!
Alison: I just ran 6 miles.
Grandmother: Why'd you do that?
Alison: To be healthy - it's just so hard because I'm out of shape.
Grandmother: Well, don't get out of shape!

MeandMarj: I never have jumped to the wrong conclusion.

Alison: Grandmother, tell me a time you jumped to the wrong conclusion.
Grandmother: I never have jumped to the wrong conclusion. 

MeandMarj: I knew there was something special about it.

Grandmother: That's a cute skirt!
Alison: Thank you! You're the second person who has given me a compliment today.
Grandmother: Oh really?
Alison: Yes! It's Lilly Pulitzer.
Grandmother: I knew there was something special about it.

MeandMarj: It better be a good one!

Alison: I have a present for you. 

Grandmother: It better be a good one 

Alison: I think you will like it - it's in the kitchen. Is that a good present? 

Grandmother: This cookie? Oh, boy!

MeandMarj: Damn it!!

Grandmother trying to button her robe even though it doesn't fit... 

Grandmother: Damn it! 

Alison: Will you ever let me buy you a new robe? 

Grandmother: Never! 

Alison: Will you stop it? 

Grandmother: It won't stay buttoned! 

Alison: It's because it doesn't fit! You need to either buy a new one or stop eating ice cream!

MeandMarj: You are wearing that to work?

Grandmother: You are wearing that to work?
Alison: Yes, it's Friday - I can wear jeans to work.

MeandMarj: How do I get ready for the Olympics?

Alison: Okay, Grandmother, here is your to do list today:
        1. Get dressed.
        2. Fold rags.
        3. Get ready for the Olympics.
Grandmother: I don't get it.
Alison: You don't get what?
Grandmother: How do I get ready for the Olympics?
Alison: You summon your American pride and get excited!

MeandMarj: When do you want to go to bed?

Grandmother: When do you want to go to bed?
Alison: When do you want to go to bed?
Grandmother: I asked you first.

MeandMarj: How am I?

Alison: How are you?
Grandmother: How am I?
Alison: Yes, how are you?
Grandmother: I'm alright...for an old lady.
Alison: You aren't that old.
Grandmother: I'm pretty old.
Alison: How old are you?
Grandmother: I don't know 89...90.
Alison: Nope...keep trying.
Grandmother: Well, I was born in 1920.
Alison: Okay, what year is it?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: You have the newspaper right there.
Grandmother: July 26, 2012.
Alison: Okay, so how old are you?
Grandmother: I'm 96.
Alison: Oh, Grandmother, you aren't that old.
Grandmother: 95?
Alison: No.
Grandmother: 94?
Alison: No.
Grandmother: 93?
Alison: No.
Grandmother: I give up.
Alison: You were so close - 92!
Grandmother: Well, I was close!

MeandMarj: I don't like it either!

Alison: I don't like my outfit today. 

Grandmother: Is that brown and black? 

Alison: Yes. 

Grandmother: I don't like it either!

MeandMarj: I don't know, but it was good!

Alison: Grandmother, what did you have for dinner?
Grandmother: I don't know, but it was good!

MeandMarj: That was nice!

Grandmother: Thank you for everything!
Alison: Thank you for sitting with me while I had my dinner.
Grandmother: That was nice!

MeandMarj: You want to run a household.

Alison: What makes someone want to be married?
Grandmother: You want to run a household.
Alison: I wouldn't know where to begin.
Grandmother: You've watched your mother, haven't you?
Alison: I guess so.

MeandMarj: There is no sneaking out for a walk in this house!

Grandmother: Alison is that you? Where have you been?
Alison: Grandmother, I went for a walk to return my book to the library.
Grandmother: There is no sneaking out for a walk in this house.
Alison: I told you I was going for a walk.
Grandmother: No, you didn't! Now, what are you going to do?
Alison: Shower.
Grandmother: Shower!?! At this hour?
Alison: Grandmother, it's 9 o'clock and, yes, I worked out so I am going to shower before I go to bed. Good night.
Grandmother: Good night. Don't let the bed bugs bite. If they do hit them with your shoe.
Alison: I know - there are bugs done here.
Grandmother: Really?
Alison: I've had to kill a spider or two.
Grandmother: Two - that's nothing!
Alison: Okay, good night.
Grandmother: Good night!

MeandMarj: That sofa, now I think it looks pretty!

Grandmother: That sofa now looks pretty. 

Alison: It does. 

Grandmother: I want to get new cushions for it. 

Alison: Let's go to the store! 

Grandmother: Now, I suppose?

MeandMarj: Right now, I suppose?

Grandmother: I want to reguild that mirror. 

Alison: Let's go to the store. 

Grandmother: Right now, I suppose? 

Alison: Yes! 

Grandmother: Humph. 

MeandMarj: That's not that unusual!

Alison: I just finished my book about Hemingway's wife.
Grandmother: How was it?
Alison: It was a great book, but Hemingway wasn't much of a gentleman.
Grandmother: How so?
Alison: He cheated on his wife, and had four of them.
Grandmother: That's not that usual!

MeandMarj: You are so skinny!

Grandmother: You are so skinny!
Alison: No, I'm not - I want to lose 5 pounds.
Grandmother: Oh, NO!

MeandMarj: What's today?

Grandmother: What's today?
Alison: Wednesday.
Grandmother: So, you have to go to work today?

MeandMarj: John Paul Jones, you are so handsome!

Grandmother has a poster on the refrigerator of John Paul Jones and she's written in soft pencil along the frame:

John Paul Jones, you are so handsome. I wish all midshipman looked like you!

MeandMarj: Nuts or Normal?

Fox News: Nuts or Normal (on TV...)

Alison: Grandmother, are you nuts or normal?
Grandmother: I'm normal. I'm eating ice cream for breakfast. 

(Straight from the carton!)
Alison: And that's normal?

Grandmother smiles.

MeandMarj: But those are blue jeans!

Alison: Okay, let's try these pants on today.
Grandmother: Where did you get those?
Alison: In your closet...uh oh...doesn't look like they fit. We'll try another pair.
Grandmother: But those are blue jeans!
Alison: It doesn't matter...you aren't going anywhere today and they fit! You are going to have to stop eating ice cream!

MeandMarj: Someone put toothpaste on my toothbrush.

Alison: Time to get ready for bed - brush your teeth.
Grandmother: Someone put toothpaste on my toothbrush.
After Grandmother washes her face and climbs in bed, I go back into the bathroom...
Alison: Grandmother! You didn't brush your teeth.
Grandmother: Yes, I did.
Alison: But there is still toothpaste on the toothbrush, so you obviously didn't.
Grandmother: Yes, I did!

MeandMarj: Where are you going in that?

Alison: Good morning! Time to get up!
Grandmother: Where are you going in that?
Alison: I just got back from the gym...time to shower.
Grandmother: Have you showered this morning?
Alison: Nope...I need to as well. Once we shower, we'll meet at the breakfast table!
Grandmother: Okay, see you down there.

MeandMarj: Get your head out of the newspaper and finish your breakfast!

Grandmother: Let's turn on the TV and see what's going on in the world.
Alison: Let's read the paper.
Grandmother: You better eat your breakfast.
Alison: I am.
Grandmother: Get your head out of the newspaper and finish your breakfast!
Alison: Okay, I can read and eat at the same time.
Grandmother: Well, you better get going or you are going to be late.

MeandMarj: Oh, poo!

Alison: I guess we should put the laundry in the dryer. 

Grandmother: It's done? 

Alison: Yup! 

As Grandmother is getting up...

Grandmother: My back hurts. 

Alison: You don't have to do that. 

Grandmother: I can do it. 

Alison: You are the best grandmother a girl could ask for. 

Grandmother: Oh, poo!

MeandMarj: Make sure you make him a sandwich!

Alison: Grandmother, thank you so much for putting out the cereal and setting the table. Thank you so much!
Grandmother: Oh, that was nothing.
Alison: Well, Steve leaves tomorrow at 5 am.
Grandmother: Make sure you make him a sandwich before he goes!
Alison: I will.

MeandMarj: Don't cool down the whole outside!

Alison: I'm going to go get the paper outside.
Grandmother: Close the door...you don't need to cool down the whole outside!

MeandMarj: And you didn't bring me my sticky bun?

Grandmother: So, you said you went to the market this morning?
Alison: Yes, we did.
Grandmother: And you didn't bring me my sticky bun?
Alison: Wait...wait...what do we have here?
Grandmother: Yay! You did bring me my sticky bun!

MeandMarj: That's too bad...

Alison: Grandmother, I'm dying!
Grandmother: That's too bad....
Alison: It's nearly 100' out and I just ran 5 miles....
Grandmother: Why did you do that?
Alison: To stay in shape...if you don't work out for two days you start to lose fitness.
Grandmother: That's too bad...

MeandMarj: I'm not completely helpless!

Alison: Come here, let me undo that button.
Grandmother: I'm not completely helpless!
Alison: Okay.
Grandmother: Damn it - come off, you stupid skirt!
Alison: Here, let me help you.
Grandmother: Okay.

MeandMarj: Go...Stop...Go

Driving around town and we come to our first green light...
Grandmother: Go!
The next red light...
Grandmother: Stop!
And so forth....and so forth....

MeandMarj: Who took the bite out of that apple?

Grandmother:Who took the bite out of that apple?
Dad: Steve Jobs.

MeandMarj: Why doesn't it learn?

Alison: Something smells like its burning.
Grandmother: I burned the toast.
Alison: Grandmother, this toaster doesn't work anymore! It burned because it doesn't know when to pop up anymore.
Grandmother: Why doesn't it learn?

MeandMarj: Is this all chocolate?

Grandmother: Is this all chocolate?
Alison: Yes, you have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.
Grandmother: I want vanilla!
Alison: Okay, here is some vanilla. Are you full?
Grandmother: I guess so.

MeandMarj: Where's Steve?

Grandmother: Where's Steve?
Alison: He went back to Pennsylvania.
Grandmother: Oh really? I thought he was staying another night. Darn it!

MeandMarj: I want my toaster back!

Grandmother: Where is my toaster? I want my toaster back!
Alison: Grandmother, it doesn't work anymore! It doesn't pop up and it only toasts the bread on one side.
Grandmother: It works fine!
Alison: Okay, we are going to have a toast off. Look, this toaster popped up perfectly golden toast. Let's see here, your toast hasn't popped up and wait...its brown on one side and not the other.
Grandmother: Well, I didn't tell it to do that!

MeandMarj: I don't know why you are doing it ass backward!

Alison: Tomorrow is Dad's birthday! We are going out to dinner.
Grandmother: I need to get him something.
Alison: You bought him a tie. Want to wrap it?
Grandmother: You are doing such a great job wrapping the other gifts. 
Alison: Okay...I'll do it.
Grandmother: You are doing it all wrong!
Alison: Why?
Grandmother: I don't know why you are doing it ass backward!

MeandMarj: You are always waiting on me.

Grandmother: Thank you.
Alison: For what?
Grandmother: You are always waiting on me.

MeandMarj: Wait a minute!

Alison: Okay we are going to church ... see you in an hour.
Grandmother: Wait a minute!
Steve: Yes...?
Grandmother: Where is your jacket?? You can not go to church without a jacket!
Steve: It's in the car! Don't worry! I wouldn't!

MeandMarj: Make that clock stop banging!

As I was setting the grandfather clock...

Grandmother: Make that clock stop banging!

Alison: Grandmother, someone needs to set it! 

Grandmother: Okay...

MeandMarj: I'm slow, but sure!

Dad: Okay, I'm headed home.
Grandmother: Wait for me!
Dad: I'm leaving...
Grandmother: Wait, I'm coming...I'm slow, but sure!

MeandMarj: But I thought you went down!

Alison: Grandmother, do you want to go to bed?
Grandmother: Yes.
Alison: Okay, let's go up.
Grandmother: But..I thought you went down?
Alison: I do, but I can still take you up first.
Grandmother: Okay.

MeandMarj: You always do that for me, like I can't do it myself!

Alison: Good morning! Time to get up! Want to shower?
Grandmother: No, I just don't feel like it.
Alison: Okay, well, let's brush your teeth...come on!
As I hand Grandmother her toothbrush with toothpaste...
Grandmother: You always do that for me, like I can't do it myself!
Alison: Well, I just don't want you to get up first thing in the morning and be so excited to see me you jump right out of bed to come downstairs and forget to brush your teeth!
Grandmother: Okay...

MeandMarj: I go to work everyday!

Grandmother: Do you have to go to work today?
Alison: I do. It's Friday. Do you have to go to work today?
Grandmother: I go to work everyday!

MeandMarj: You haven't had your ice cream!

Alison: What's wrong?
Grandmother: I don't feel well.
Alison: I know! You haven't had your ice cream!
Grandmother's face lightens up!
Grandmother: That's it!

MeandMarj: What time is it?

Alison: Good morning! Rise and Shine! Give God your Glory, Glory!
Grandmother: What time is it?
Alison: It's 7:30.
Grandmother: It's too early.
Alison: All you have to do is get up for an hour, and then you can go back to sleep the rest of the day. I have to go to work so if you get up now, we can have breakfast together
Grandmother: What day is it?
Alison: Wednesday.
Grandmother: It's not Saturday?
Alison: No, unfortunately not. Time to get up!

Two minutes later...
Grandmother: What time is it?
Alison: 8. 
Grandmother: Okay.

MeandMarj: Is there anywhere you want to go before you die?

Alison: Is there anywhere you want to go before you die?
Grandmother: Lots of places.
Alison: Where?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: Well, how can we plan a trip if you don't know where?
Grandmother: I don't know.

MeandMarj: I don't know why all these gals want to get married!

Grandmother: What are you doing now?
Alison: Researching destinations for my friend's bachelorette party.
Grandmother: I don't know why all these gals want to get married!
Alison: I don't know either! Why did you get married?
Grandmother: I don't know.

MeandMarj: I don't want to see her!

Alison: I think we should get your hair done today. Lee wants to see you.
Grandmother: Well, I don't want to see her!
Alison: Can I wash your hair?
Grandmother: No!

MeandMarj: I'm still here!

Alison: Good morning. How are you?
Grandmother: I'm fine. I guess...I'm still here!

MeandMarj: Anybody down there?

Grandmother: Anybody down there?
Alison: Good morning!
Grandmother: Get up!

MeandMarj: Somebody always puts this on my toothbrush!

Alison: Ready?
Grandmother: Okay, I'll wash my face now.
Alison: Sounds good!

After I've put toothpaste on Grandmother's toothbrush, and we walk into the bathroom...

Grandmother: Somebody always puts this on my toothbrush!
Alison: Who do you think that is?
Grandmother: I have no idea...

MeandMarj: I DON'T THINK SO!

Alison: Good morning! Oh you are getting dressed already? I think it would be a good idea to shower
Grandmother: I DON'T THINK SO!

MeandMarj: Erectile dysfunction?

Cialis commercial on TV...

Alison: Grandmother, do you know what erectile dysfunction is?
Grandmother: Erectile dysfunction?
Alison: Can you believe there is an advertisement on TV for erectile dysfunction? Did you have these ads on TV when you were growing up?
Grandmother: TV? We didn't have a TV. We had a radio.

MeandMarj: Laundry at this time of night!?!

Alison: Grandmother, is it alright if I do my laundry?
Grandmother: It's 8:15!
Alison: So?
Grandmother: I just don't see why you would do laundry at this time of night!?!

MeandMarj: Do you remember when she was little?

Alison: Can you believe Tory has graduated college?
Grandmother: Little Tory?
Alison: Yes! Little Tory!
Grandmother: No. It doesn't seem possible! Do you remember when she was little?
Alison: I do! You know what that means...if the youngest cousin has graduated college we are old!
Grandmother: You certainly are!

MeandMarj: I don't get that combination!

Alison: I'm having parmesan chicken over capellini tonight.
Grandmother: I don't get it.
Alison: You don't get what? The chicken or the pasta?
Grandmother: I don't get that combination!

MeandMarj: You plan too much!

Alison: I'm going to book club tonight. We read The Alchemist. It's about finding one's self-destiny and how there isn't a direct path to getting there. Did you have a direct path in life?
Grandmother: No..I don't think so.
Alison: Is your life exactly as you planned?
Grandmother: I didn't plan.
Alison: Did you ever think about your 5-year goals and where you wanted to be and what you wanted your life to be like?
Grandmother: No. I didn't. You plan too much!

MeandMarj: In the dining room!

Alison: Tomorrow night I'm having girls over for dinner.

Grandmother: In the dining room! 

Alison: We can't have dinner in the kitchen? 

Grandmother: No!

MeandMarj: That's why you should marry a rich man!

Alison: The more I think of my own retirement, the more respect I have for Grandpa and all the years he worked, and all the planning he did to plan for his life and yours! 

Grandmother: He was a good man. That's why you need to marry a rich man!

MeandMarj: You can serve your community by cleaning your own back patio!

Alison: Today I'm going to Glen Echo park to clean, landscape, and weed areas of the park as part of Marriott's Spirit to Serve our Communities Day.

Grandmother: You can serve your community by cleaning your own back patio!

MeandMarj: It's greasy!

Alison: You know what the problem with Greece is?
Grandmother: It's greasy!

MeandMarj: Goodnight, your earrings are in!

Alison: Okay, goodnight, Grandmother.
Grandmother: Goodnight, your earrings are in!
Alison: Oh, okay, thank you.
Grandmother: Goodbye. Uh, Goodnight!

MeandMarj: I'm not that desperate!

Alison: Want to watch Desperate Housewives with me?
Grandmother: I'm not that desperate!
Alison: It's really desperate - they even kill people.
Grandmother: That is desperate!

MeandMarj: You're all right!

Dad: How am I as your son?
Grandmother: You're all right.
Mo: How am I as a daughter-in-law?
Grandmother: You're great.
Alison: How am I as your grandaughter?
Grandmother: You're nice.
Alison: How's Steve?
Grandmother: He's tall.

MeandMarj: Boy, that was a wild goose chase!

Alison: Tell us a story about Dad when he was growing up!
Grandmother: One time, we were driving from DC to Philadelphia and we thought he was asleep when we arrived home, and all of the sudden he jumps up and screams, "Boy, that was a wild goose chase!" We had no idea where on earth he had heard that phrase before!

MeandMarj: Maybe...

Alison: It's five o'clock - can I get you anything?
Grandmother: I could use something. 
Alison: What do you want?
Grandmother: I don't know. 
Alison: Do you want something?
Grandmother: No... Maybe...

MeandMarj: Happy Mother's Day!

Alison: Happy Mother's Day!
Grandmother: Happy Mother's Day to you, too!
Alison: Well, we can celebrate I'm not a mother! 
Grandmother: Okay, that's a good idea!

MeandMarj: You can live in my basement!

Reading from this article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/post/the-ten-things-they-really-dont-tell-you-at-graduation/2012/05/03/gIQAaQlLzT_blog.html

Alison: "Next year, you will probably be unemployed, or live in your parents’ basement, or be unemployed and live in your parents’ basement."
Grandmother: You can live in my basement!
Alison: Grandmother, I do live in your basement! And, I've been living there a year!
Grandmother: Oh.

MeandMarj: Before I die....

Alison: What do you want to do before you die?
Grandmother: Nothing
Alison: Do you want to travel?
Grandmother: I've traveled enough.
Alison: Do you want to read a book?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Do you want to try any new restaurants?
Grandmother: I hate to eat out.
Alison: Do you want to stay right at home?
Grandmother: Ever so humble, there is no place like home!

MeandMarj: I don't think.

Alison: We really need to get this patio fixed! It would be great to have a party in the garden and then we would have something to forward to and plan for.
Grandmother: Who would we invite?
Alison: All our friends. What do you think?
Grandmother: I don't think.

MeandMarj: So, you come home and eat that crap?

Grandmother: What will you have for dinner?
Alison: I already had dinner, but I'll have dessert.
Grandmother: That's all? So, you come home and eat that crap?
Alison: That's funny - coming from someone who eats a quart of ice cream every two days!

MeandMarj: Those pants!

Grandmother: Are you just getting home?
Alison: Yup.
Grandmother: Those pants!
Alison: What's wrong with them?
Grandmother: They are skinny pants.
Alison: What do you mean, "They are skinny pants"?
Grandmother: The pants make you look skinny.
Alison: Ah!

MeandMarj: Was he ever married?

Grandmother: Tell me all about your weekend!
Alison: It was great. We went to this Van Gogh exhibit at the art museum. Really fascinating. It focused on his works from the last four years of his life. I wonder why he was so depressed.
Grandmother: Was he ever married?
Alison: I don't think so.
Grandmother: That's probably why.

MeandMarj: But, you couldn't earn it!

Grandmother: What's tomorrow?
Alison: Thursday.
Grandmother: So, you have to work?
Alison: Yes, but if you paid me, I could stay with you all day.
Grandmother: But you couldn't earn it.
Alison: What do you mean?
Grandmother: You'd have to clean the house, shine all the brass and all the silver...
Alison: I think I could do it!
Grandmother: Well, sleep well. Don't let all the bugs down there get you.
Alison: Okay, we'll continue our negotiations later!
Grandmother: Ha, okay! Good night!

MeandMarj: You look 24!

Grandmother: That is my favorite painting!

Alison: Oh, wow, it was Easter, 1990. I was 6 years old.
Grandmother: You must have been older than that.
Alison: No, I was born in the fall of 1983 and it was Easter. So, I was 6 and a half.
Grandmother: Oh, wow.
Alison: How old do I look now?
Grandmother: 24.
Alison: I'll take it!

MeandMarj: The Handicraft Club.

Alison: What's this picture? The Handicraft Club in Providence, Rhode Island - 1984... 
Grandmother: Oh, that was a great club!
Alison: What did you do?
Grandmother: Oh, they had lots of great things! Sewing... 
Alison: What else did you do at the Handicraft Club? 
Grandmother: Well, they taught sewing... You could take painting... They had a number of things you could do. 
Alison: How often did you go there? 
Grandmother: Often...at least once a week.

MeandMarj: Gosh, that's old!

Grandmother: You have to sign my guestbook! 
Alison: But, Grandmother, I live here!
Grandmother: This book is so old, it's falling apart. 
Alison: Let's see, the first entry - October 4, 1960. 
Grandmother: And what year is it?
Alison: 2012. 
Grandmother: Gosh, that's old!

MeandMarj: What is that awful looking stuff?

Grandmother: What is that awful looking stuff?
Alison: Its coffee!!!! It's delicious!
Grandmother: Ugh - how do you drink it?
Alison: Actually, I didn't like it until I lived in Paris.
Grandmother: Well, I lived in Paris and I still don't like coffee!

MeandMarj: Now, that was a dream!

Alison: Good Morning!
Grandmother: Where are you going?
Alison: I just got back from my run.
Grandmother: It's 7:30...already?
Alison: Yes, how did you sleep last night?
Grandmother: I don't know, I was asleep.
Alison: I had a dream you were running with me.
Grandmother: Now, that was a dream!

MeandMarj: Crooked as a dog's tail!

Grandmother: Don't you believe in a straight part? Your part is as crooked as a dog's tail! 
Alison: All dogs' tails are crooked?
Grandmother: Some are!

MeandMarj: I thought it was love!

Grandmother: What are you reading?



Alison: Mountains Beyond Mountains. "Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, A Man Who Would Cure the World is a non-fiction, biographical work by American writer Tracy Kidder. The story traces the life of physician and anthropologist Paul Farmer. The book was a New York Times Notable Book for 2003." This one scene describes the generosity of a donor. I guess money really makes the world go 'round!
Grandmother: I thought it was love!
Alison: Aw, that's so nice!
Grandmother: I think so, too!

MeandMarj: I'll eat whatever you put in front of me.

Grandmother: Where is your father?
Alison: He is at dinner with his friends. What would you like for dinner?
Grandmother: I'll eat whatever you put in front of me.

MeandMarj: Anyone down there?

Grandmother: Anyone down there?
Alison: Yes! I'm here!
Grandmother: What are you doing?
Alison: Getting ready for work. It's Tuesday. I have to go to work. But I get paid on Thursday.
Grandmother: Is this your first paycheck?
Alison: Haha - no. I have been there for 10 months already.
Grandmother: That's impossible!

MeandMarj: What on earth are you doing down there?

Grandmother: What on earth are you doing down there?
Alison: I'm drying my hair. I'm getting ready for work, and I shower and dry my hair before I go to work.
Grandmother: Oh.

MeandMarj: I don't use my Visa.

Alison: Okay, I'm going to the store. We are out of milk and OJ.
Grandmother: Let me give you money.
Alison: But you don't have any.
Grandmother: Let me write you a check.
Alison: Okay.
Grandmother: Oh look, I only have a $1.
Alison: Well, let me take your Visa.
Grandmother: No, I don't use my Visa at the store.
Alison: Then, why do you have it?
Grandmother: I just don't use it!

MeandMarj: Can you find your way home?

Alison: Wait, do you have toothpaste on your toothbrush?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Okay, let's put some toothpaste on that toothbrush! Okay, good night!
Grandmother: Wait, I'm almost done.
Alison: Okay, time to go to bed.
Grandmother: Can you find your way home?
Alison: I think so! Good night! Sleep well!

MeandMarj: That's right!

Alison: Let's get a dog! Look at this one - he is so cute!
Grandmother: Aw, is he ready to be taken home now?
Alison:  Yes, all these dogs need to be adopted - but you don't want to get a dog you can't take care of.
Grandmother: That's right! They need to be walked every morning, noon, and night!
Alison: Do you want to walk a dog every morning, noon, and night?
Grandmother: No.

MeandMarj: Marj's Mother

Grandmother: You never knew my mother, did you?
Alison: No - isn't that sad?
Grandmother: Yes, I just looked over at that picture of her and her dog. They loved each other! Can't you tell they loved each other?
Alison: Aw, she is beautiful.
Grandmother: And he is so handsome!
Alison: Did you want to get a poodle?
Grandmother: No, that was her dog! Heidi!
Alison: What was her middle name?
Grandmother: "Ila" and she hated it!
Alison: Why did she hate it?
Grandmother: Well, I don't much like it either! Do you? I can understand why she didn't like it!

MeandMarj: Gone with the Wind

Grandmother: I started reading Gone with the Wind again. Have you ever read it?
Alison: No, I haven't.
Grandmother: Oh, its a great book. I remember I read it in high school - in the 1930s.
Alison: Did everyone have to read it in high school?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: You just chose to read it?
Grandmother: Yes.
Alison: What did you like about it?
Grandmother: It's just a good story - Margaret Mitchell, she was a southern lady who wrote it, you know. She wrote it back in 19...19 something.
Alison: 1936.
Grandmother: I was going to say 1938.
Alison: How old were you?
Grandmother: I was in high school.
Alison: You were 16. What was it like being 16 in 1936?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: You were there.
Grandmother: I know, but I don't remember what it was like!
Alison: Did you have a boyfriend?
Grandmother: They used to walk home with me from school because we lived in the same neighborhood, but I wouldn't call that being a boyfriend.

MeandMarj: Why would I want to go all the way out there?

Grandmother: Where are you calling from?
Louise: New Orleans.
Grandmother: All the way down there?
Louise: Yes, I'm still here, but I'm moving. Do you remember where?
Grandmother: Portland, Oregon.
Louise: Yes! You must come visit me!
Grandmother: Why would I want to go all the way out there? To that God forsaken place?

MeandMarj: Fine ... I guess.

Alison: Good Morning! How are you?
Grandmother: Fine..I guess.
Alison: You guess?
Grandmother: What day is it?
Alison: Friday - Yay! Its the weekend!
Grandmother: So, you don't have to work tomorrow?
Alison: No, but I'm going to Pennsylvania.
Grandmother: Oh no, I'll miss you!

MeandMarj: You don't have to worry about that!

Grandmother: Where are you going now?
Alison: For a run.
Grandmother: At this hour?
Alison: Grandmother, its only 7 and I just got home from work...there are only so many hours in the day.
Grandmother: What do you want to do that for?
Alison: To stay in shape - so I don't get fat.
Grandmother: You don't have to worry about that.
Alison: Yes, I do!
Grandmother: No you don't , your mother wasn't fat, her mother wasn't fat.
Alison: But exercise is good for you.
Grandmother: Is it?

MeandMarj: You are all in black - are you mourning?

Grandmother: You are all in black - are you mourning?
Alison: Ha! No. You aren't dressed yet!
Grandmother: I don't feel well.
Alison: We should go to the doctor.
Grandmother: I don't feel that bad!

MeandMarj: You gotta see this!

Grandmother: How much did you spend at the store? Let me reimburse you.
Alison: It was $17, but I don't think you have any money.
Grandmother: Let me see - you never know!
Alison: Okay...
Grandmother: Oh, this is great! You gotta see this!
Alison: What? We hit the jackpot?
Grandmother: I have $1!
Alison: Okay, well, I can't take your last $1. Thank you for putting a roof over my head last night!

MeandMarj: It takes an effort to court a girl!

Grandmother: When does steve get here?
Alison: Hopefully, soon!
Grandmother: It takes an effort to court a girl. When I use in school in Boston, my parents were in Portsmouth, and Fred would take the train up to visit on the weekend. That's were they built ships and submarines. 
Alison: Oh really? Wow!
Grandmother: Yes, it takes an effort for him driving all that way.
Alison: Aww, you are right!

MeandMarj: That is the strangest combination!

Alison: Good Morning!
Grandmother: Do you have to go to work?
Alison: Yes.
Grandmother: Oh, darn! Did you have your breakfast?
Alison: Yes, I had two hardboiled eggs and a piece of toast.
Grandmother: Two hardboiled eggs and toast? That is the strangest combination.
Alison: What's so strange about hardboiled eggs?
Grandmother: It just is.

MeandMarj: 2 Eggs!?!

Grandmother: What did you have for breakfast?
Alison: 2 hardboiled eggs. 
Grandmother: 2!?!

Didn't know 2 hardboiled eggs would result in such a reaction!

MeandMarj: Why on Earth did you decide to wash your hair at this hour of the day?

10 am on Sunday - getting ready for church

Grandmother: Ready?
Alison: Almost - need to dry my hair.
Grandmother: Why on Earth did you decide to wash your hair at this hour of the day?

MeandMarj: I hate doctors!

Grandmother is limping around...

Alison: What's wrong?
Grandmother: My ankle hurts.
Alison: Well, we should go to the doctor - it looks like it really hurts.
Grandmother: No, I don't want to.
Alison: Why not?
Grandmother: I hate doctors!

MeandMarj: Aw, shut up!

Alison: Let's go shower!
Grandmother: Aw, shut up!

MeandMarj: I've never run a 1k!

Alison: Have you ever run a 5k?
Grandmother: I've never run a 1k!

MeandMarj: Aw, heck!

Alison: Grandmother, there is no ice cream in the freezer.
Grandmother: Yes, there is.
Alison: No really, there is nothing in the freezer!
Grandmother: Aw, heck!

MeandMarj: It's cold as blue blazes!

Grandmother: Anyone up down there?
Alison: Yes...I'm getting there.
Grandmother: It's cold as blue blazes! You don't have to work today?
Alison: Tomorrow, I don't have to work.
Grandmother: Oh, darn.
Alison: Get excited for tomorrow!

MeandMarj: You chose to do that instead of getting married!

Alison: Why do I have to go to work?
Grandmother: Because you chose to do that instead of getting married!
Alison: Well, no one wants to marry me.
Grandmother: That's too bad.

MeandMarj: Is it?

Alison: Good Morning! How did you sleep last night?
Grandmother: I don't know - I was asleep. What would you like for breakfast?
Alison: Oatmeal, and here are your cornflakes! Isn't it just great having breakfast together!?!
Grandmother: Is it?

MeandMarj: You certainly don't LOOK undernourished!

Steve: We need to get some breakfast - I'm feeling undernourished.
Grandmother: You certainly don't LOOK undernourished!

MeandMarj: Why do you want to beat yourself to a pulp?

Alison: Okay, we are going for a quick dinner.
Grandmother: When will you be home?
Alison: Soon - like an hour - we have to get up early for our 10 mile race in the morning!
Grandmother: Why are you doing that? Why do you want to beat yourself to a pulp?
Alison: Its great exercise! Its good for you.
Grandmother: Yeah? Tell me about it.

MeandMarj: I'm going to go poke around the cupboards...

Alison: Are you hungry?
Grandmother: Not really...but I could nimble on something.
Alison: Okay - let's see what's in the kitchen!
Grandmother: I'm going to go poke around the cupboards - come keep me company in the kitchen.

MeandMarj: Golly day!

Grandmother: Where did you say you bought those roses?
Alison: At the Safeway.
Grandmother: Golly day!

MeandMarj: The Best 92nd Birthday Ever!

Alison: Did you have a nice birthday?
Grandmother: It was the best 92nd Birthday ever!

MeandMarj: Tub of guts!

Alison: Let me help you in the car...
Grandmother: Tub of guts!

MeandMarj: Sharing Grandmother stories!

I loved reading this story about a woman caring for her Grandmother!

http://www.vanderbilt.edu/magazines/vanderbilt-magazine/2012/03/true-north/

MeandMarj: You are too much of a businesswoman!

Grandmother: What did you do all day?
Alison: Well... I played with numbers all day long

(as I walk grandmother through a discounted cash flow and net present value calculation, her eyes glaze over) 

Grandmother: I see that! You are too much of a businesswoman! What if I told you I made a dress today?
Alison: That would be great! Did you?
Grandmother: No.

MeandMarj: Doesn't that sofa always look nice when it's puffed up?

Grandmother: Doesn't that sofa always look nice when it's puffed up?
Alison: It does!
Grandmother: You know, this was the first piece of furniture I ever bought.
Alison: That's not true! You said that about the dining room table downstairs, and the buffet in the dining room!
Grandmother: Well, this sofa was the first piece of furniture I ever owned. Doesn't it look nice? Because I don't let kids jump all over it!
Alison: Who does that?
Grandmother: Lots of people!

MeandMarj: Did you water the pansies?

Alison: Grandmother, did you water the pansies?
Grandmother: Sorta.
Alison: How do you "sorta" water the pansies?
Grandmother: I kinda put water on them.

MeandMarj: Goodnight, everybody!

Just me in the house

Grandmother: Goodnight, everybody!
Alison: Goodnight, Grandmother!
Grandmother: Goodnight, don't let the bed bugs bite!

MeandMarj: Will you be able to find your way back?

Grandmother: Okay, good night.
Alison: I'll walk you upstairs.
Grandmother: Will you be able to find your way back?
Alison: You can walk me back downstairs.
Grandmother: That could go on for hours!

MeandMarj: Ready to go down to bed?

Alison: Ready to go up to bed?
Grandmother: Yes, are you ready to go down to bed?
Alison: Yes, ma'am!

MeandMarj: That is the craziest looking dinner!

Grandmother: What are you eating?
Alison: An avocado, tomato, cheese, and some triscuits.
Grandmother: That is the craziest looking dinner!
Alison: Why? Don't you like avocados and tomatoes?
Grandmother: Yes, but it's crazy!

MeandMarj: I need ice cream!

I served Grandmother her ice cream...

Grandmother: Why so much? I don't need this much!
Alison: Grandmother, you never NEED ice cream.
Grandmother: Yes, I do! It's good for me!

MeandMarj: Why are they in such a hurry?

Alison: Oh wow - sales of running shoes were up 14% last year!
Grandmother: Everyone must be running.
Alison: Guess so!
Grandmother: Why are they in such a hurry?

MeandMarj: That's half way across the world!

Alison: Grandmother, can you believe it? Louise is going to Portland!
Grandmother: For how long?
Alison: Five years!
Grandmother: Oh no! That's terrible! That's half way across..the world! She'll probably marry some Portlandite and never come back!
Alison: Don't worry, Grandmother, I'll never get married and live with you forever!
Grandmother: That's great! Marriage is stupid, anyways.
Alison: Really? Why?
Grandmother: It just is!

MeandMarj: Don't do anything bad!

Grandmother: Whose suitcase is that?

(As I'm carrying it out the door on my way to the airport...)
Alison: It's yours - may I borrow it?
Grandmother: What a perfect time to ask - don't lose it!
Alison: I won't, have a good weekend, don't do anything bad!
Grandmother: Why not?

MeandMarj: That's the strangest looking thing!

Grandmother: What ARE you eating?
Alison: A bagel.
Grandmother: A bagel? That's the strangest looking thing!

MeandMarj: Why are you getting me up so early?

Alison: Good Morning! Time to get up! It's a beautiful day!
Grandmother: It doesn't look beautiful - it looks like its raining.
Alison: Its beautiful because you are alive and healthy!
Grandmother:Why are you getting me up so early?
Alison: It's 8 am!

MeandMarj: This is not a turnaround for your car!

Grandmother: This is not a turnaround for your car! People always use my driveway to turn around!
Steve: Why don't you take a bb gun to them?
Grandmother: I've thought of that many times myself!

MeandMarj: That wasn't fun.

Alison: Want to come downstairs and see my apartment?
Grandmother: Has it changed?
Alison: No, but you can weigh yourself.
Grandmother: I don't want to do that.
Alison: Come on, it's fun! Let's see - 135! Not bad!
Grandmother: Oooh! That's pretty bad.
Alison: Wasn't that fun?
Grandmother: No! That wasn't fun.

MeandMarj: Bills?

Grandmother is looking out the kitchen window...

Alison: Want to retire to the living room?

Grandmother: No - I like looking at the trees.
Alison: Well, I need to go pay some bills.
Grandmother: What are those?
Alison: Ha!

MeandMarj: Pet Duck!

Grandmother: The pet duck!

http://www.zshare.net/download/99127537934961fb/

   

MeandMarj: I'm sorry we had words this morning.

Alison: Time to get dressed!
Grandmother: I don't want to.
Alison: Grandmother! It's Tuesday and you've been in your robe for three days!!!!!!
Grandmother: I don't care and I'm not going to. I'll do it when I want to and don't tell me what to do!!!!! You annoy me!
Alison: That's not true and if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have new groceries; the trash wouldn't have been taken out and the recycling wouldn't have been taken to the recycling. I have to go to work.

Calling Grandmother on the way to work

Alison: Grandmother, how are you?
Grandmother: Fine.
Alison: Well the furnace repair man is coming this morning. Please get dressed!
Grandmother: I'm eating my breakfast.
Alison: Okay, well, afterwards.
Grandmother: Okay. I'm sorry we had words this morning.
Alison: Grandmother, it's because I love you and I want you to be healthy.
Grandmother: Okay, have a nice day.

MeandMarj: Don't say that!

Alison: I'm such an idiot!
Grandmother: Don't say that!
Alison: Why?
Grandmother: Because you are not an idiot!
Alison: But I drove over a curb and now I have a flat tire.
Grandmother: But I've never heard of you complain about this before.
Alison: Well, that's true and I'm grateful to have a car...
Grandmother: See! It's really not that bad...
Alison: That's true!

Thank you for putting everything in perspective

MeandMarj: I'm still here!

Alison: Good Morning! How are are you?
Grandmother: I'm still here!

MeandMarj: Poor old George Washington would be rolling over in his grave!

Grandmother: Is that music or just noise?
Alison: Noise.
Grandmother: Poor old George Washington would be rolling over in his grave!

MeandMarj: Look! We are being serenaded!

Grandmother: Come here to the window. Look! We are being serenaded!

MeandMarj: Have you seen these pictures of Alison and Louise?

Grandmother: Have you seen these pictures of Alison and Louise?
Alison: Yes! That's me.
Grandmother: That's what I said...Alison and Louise.

MeandMarj: I want to get you something more glamorous to sleep in!

Grandmother: I want to get you something more glamorous to sleep in!
Alison: Ha - you don't like my pajamas?
Grandmother: No, you definitely need a pretty nightgown.
Alison: Steve would like that!
Grandmother: But he wouldn't see it.
Alison: Yes, but I'm lounging now and I need something to lounge in.

MeandMarj: Its not running! Its walking!

Alison: Oh, let me get you a tissue! Your nose is running.
Grandmother: It's not running! It's walking!

MeandMarj: Is it morning?

Alison: Good Morning, Grandmother!
Grandmother: Is it morning? What time is it?
Alison:  Yes, ma'am, time to get up! It's 7:45. 
Grandmother: What day is it?
Alison: Thursday! Yay! Tomorrow is Friday!
Grandmother: But, you have to go to work today?
Alison: Yes! Someone has to make the big bucks around here :-)

MeandMarj: This is a pretty room.

Grandmother: This is a pretty room.
Alison: Mmm mmm...
Grandmother: You think so?
Alison: Yes! What is your favorite piece of furniture in this room?
Grandmother: I don't know ... what's yours? I know, that desk where you are sitting!
Alison: Ha! Okay, let me choose....of all the pieces of furniture in this room...my favorite is...this pink sofa.

Grandmother: I bought that at a second hand shop in Paris.
Alison: Oh, that's why I like it!
Grandmother: It used to be gold and I reupholstered it.
Alison: You did?
Grandmother: Of course, if I wanted something...I had to do it myself!

MeandMarj: Valentine's Day!

Alison: Tell me some Valentine's Day memories.
Grandmother: I don't have any.
Alison: So, you have no Valentine's Day memories?
Grandmother: No, sorry.
Alison: But Valentine's Day happens every year.
Grandmother: But I never paid much attention to it. Oh, we used to have a box and we would decorate it with Valentines on it and then we would drop Valentines in it for people in the class.
Alison: Did you ever get some fun ones?
Grandmother: I can't remember.
Alison: Well, you remember the box...what did you do with the box?
Grandmother: I have no idea, honey, and don't ask me again!

MeandMarj: My everything!

Alison: What did you enjoy about your Valentine's Day?
Grandmother: Everything.
Alison: What do you mean everything?
Grandmother: My dessert, my everything!

MeandMarj: Ice Cream Cellar!

Who needs a wine cellar when you can have an ice cream cellar?

MeandMarj: What are all these hearts for?

Grandmother: What are all these hearts for?
Alison: It's Valentine's Day!
Grandmother: Oh, I forgot.
Alison: Well, Happy Valentine's Day!
Grandmother: Maybe your boyfriend will get you a Valentine?
Alison: Won't you be my Valentine?
Grandmother: Always!

MeandMarj: Aw, heck!

Alison: Good Morning!
Grandmother: What day is it?
Alison: Monday!
Grandmother: So, you have to go to work?
Alison: Yes.
Grandmother: Aw, heck!

MeandMarj: The part in your hair is crooked!

Grandmother: The part in your hair is crooked.
Alison: Okay, I'll fix it. It's probably this way from carrying out the recycling and the garbage.
Grandmother: You didn't have to do that!
Alison: Ha - I'd love to see you do it! Well, I gotta run - off to work!
Grandmother: Don't forget to fix your part!

MeandMarj: I will, if you get out of my way!

Alison: Good morning! Let's have breakfast, have a seat!
Grandmother: I will, if you get out of my way!

MeandMarj: If they need clothes, they just go and buy them!

Grandmother: There used to be a great fabric shop in town on the main drag, but now no one sews anymore.
Alison: Yeah, everyone is lazy.
Grandmother: Everyone is lazy. And now, if they need clothes, they just go and buy them!

MeandMarj: How Dessert for Breakfast Can Help You Lose Weight!

Grandmother is on to something!

http://www.washingtonian.com/blogarticles/health/wellbeing/22800.html

MeandMarj: What's so great about having a baby?

Watching the Today show...

http://todayhealth.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/10/10366903-doubly-blessed-two-sisters-act-as-surrogates-for-sibling

Grandmother: What's so great about having a baby?
Alison: You wouldn't carry your sister's baby, if she couldn't?
Grandmother: Nope!

MeandMarj: Here's to you, kid!

At the breakfast table Grandmother raises her orange juice...

Grandmother: Here's to you, kid!

MeandMarj: Before I was a twinkle in anyone's eye...

Grandmother: It was 1912 and my mother was visting her sister in Iowa.
Alison: That was before you were born!
Grandmother: That was before I was a twinkle in anyone's eye!

MeandMarj: Good grief!

Grandmother: Good grief! Look at those heels!
Alison: Do you want shoes like those?
Grandmother: No, but I think I'll go to bed.
Alison: Why?
Grandmother: To get some sleep, and I want to re-guild that mirror.
Alison: Okay, we are going to the art store this weekend!
Grandmother: Maybe.

MeandMarj: Counting my money.

Alison: What are you doing, Grandmother?
Grandmother: Counting my money... $21!
Alison: Don't spend it all in one place.
Grandmother: I'll try not to.
Alison: Are you satisfied with the amount of money?
Grandmother: Not really, but I'll make do.

MeandMarj: Don't get an expensive one!

Dad: Okay, I'm headed home... 

Less than a mile away...
Grandmother: Be safe on your long way home.
Dad: If I'm tired, I'll stop and get a hotel.
Grandmother: Don't get an expensive one!

MeandMarj: Your hair is 3 inches too long!

Grandmother: Your hair is 3 inches too long!
Alison: Why?
Grandmother: It just is - I like it shorter.

MeandMarj: What town?

Grandmother: What are you screaming about?
Alison: My friend just got asked back for a second interview!
Grandmother: Where?
Alison: For a firm in town.
Grandmother: What town?
Alison: Here! DC! Where we live!

MeandMarj: I can't believe I made it!

Alison: Grandmother, how are you?
Grandmother: Fine. I'm just admiring my foot stool for the 10th time.
Alison: It's beautiful!
Grandmother: I just can't believe I made it!

MeandMarj: That's neat!

Alison: Grandmother, see how the couples' monogram is designed? The wife's initial is small and the last name is large, and then the husband's initial is small. Want to see what mine and Steve's would be?
"aSs"
Grandmother chuckling away...
Grandmother: That's neat!
Alison: Hahaha! I told Steve I couldn't marry him!
Grandmother: Because of that?
Alison: Yes!

MeandMarj: They treat me like I'm someone special.

Alison: How was Lee (the hairdresser) today? Your hair looks great!
Grandmother: Oh, fine. All the ladies in there, they treat me like I'm someone special. I don't know why.
Alison: Well, that's because you are someone special!
Grandmother: Ha!
Looks in the mirror when we get home...
Grandmother: Oh wow, my hair does look great! Not bad for an old lady!

MeandMarj: That's impossible!

Alison: Oh! Langley is on "It's Academic!" My alma mater!
Grandmother: Oh, you know those people?
Alison: No, they are 16; I'm 12 years older. Ugh, Grandmother - I'm 28!
Grandmother: Well, that's impossible!

MeandMarj: Ice cream for breakfast?

Alison: Good Morning! Grandmother, what are you doing?
Grandmother has her spoon in the quart of ice cream...
Grandmother: What does it look like I'm doing?
Alison: Ice cream for breakfast?
Grandmother: Why not?

MeandMarj: Stop coughing and go to bed!

Grandmother: Stop coughing and go to bed!
Alison: I am going to bed, but I don't think that will stop my coughing. I bought some NyQuil.
Grandmother: Well, good.
Alison: Ugh, it tastes awful!
Grandmother: Well, there's nothing I can do about that. Ask the doctor to whip something up that tastes good, and make millions!

MeandMarj: Your thing was blinking!

Grandmother: That thing was blinking and all the lights were going off - I didn't know what to do!
Alison: I'm sure its fine. Do you want me to teach you how to use it?
Grandmother: What for? What good would that do?

MeandMarj: I miss all my critters!

Grandmother: I miss all my critters!
Alison: Hahaha, really?
Grandmother: Yes! Don't you? I miss pussy cat.
Alison: Cat?
Grandmother: I mean the rabbit, Beatrice.

MeandMarj: John Paul Jones is dreamy!

Grandmother: Isn't John Paul Jones handsome?
Alison: Very!
Grandmother: Do you think all midshipmen look like him? hahahah I don't think so!

MeandMarj: No comment?

Alison: Grandmother, what do you want to do today?
Grandmother: Nothing.
Alison: You don't want to spend time with meee?
Silence...
Alison: No comment?
Grandmother: Nope.