MeandMarj: What can you get after an MBA?

Grandmother: What can you get after an MBA?
Alison: Oh, Grandmother, there is a lot I could do. I could get a PhD, I could go to law school...
Grandmother: You should go to law school!
Alison: Okay, want to pay for it?
Grandmother: Sure, it's not that expensive because you will save a lot living here for free!
Alison: Exactly!

MeandMarj: You may have another beau.

Grandmother: I really think you should blow this picture up - I'd like a 5 by 7.

Alison: Sure! I'll do that for you.

Grandmother: You know Eastman Kodak is right down there on Main Street.

Alison: No prob! I'll get it for you. You don't want this one as a 5 by 7?

Grandmother: You may have another beau.

Alison: OH! You think?

Grandmother: Well, if you don't, I can make it a 5 by 7 then.

MeandMarj: You can be an old maid with me!

Grandmother and I discuss a stationery order...

Grandmother: Do you want the optional address line on the envelope? 
Alison: No, that's not necessary.
Grandmother: Yes! You'll be moving around.
Alison: Can't I live here forever?
Grandmother: Sure! And be an old maid with me.

MeandMarj: We had a duck just like that!

While watching TV, the Aflac commercial is on TV...
Grandmother: See that duck? We had one just like that!
Alison: Really?
Grandmother: Yes! And it would follow us around like a dog.
Alison: What was its name?
Grandmother: Maxie. 
Alison: What made your family decide to get a duck?
Grandmother: It was right before Easter and the grocery store we did business with had the cutest ducklings, so we got two - one for me and one for Priscilla.

MeandMarj: Not 'till then!

Grandmother: When does Steve get here?
Alison: Friday.
Grandmother: What's today?
Alison: Tuesday.
Grandmother: Oh gosh, not 'till then?

MeandMarj: I thought I was going to have a beau.

Alison: You can come for half an hour, it will be great!
Grandmother: Only half an hour?
Alison: Well, Grandmother, the party starts at 9. You won't want to be there that much longer. Dad can pick you up and take you home so you can go to bed whenever you want.
Grandmother: Oh, Freddy. I thought I was going to have a beau take me!
Alison: Oh, really? You can have a beau take you.
Grandmother: I wish I knew one!

MeandMarj: No one sews anymore.

Grandmother: I hate those pillows! I need a rosy red fabric.
Alison: Let's go to Calico Corners on Saturday.
Grandmother: There's one here?
Alison: Yes! Right on King Street.
Grandmother: When I first moved here, there were three fabric stores. Now, there are none because no one sews anymore.
Alison: My friend, Lexi, is taking a sewing class next weekend. Isn't that admirable?
Grandmother: Yes, it is. You know, I used to make all my own clothes. I'll show you some!
Alison: Grandmother, I've seen a lot of them. Remember? We used to play dress up!
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Oh, come on, the fashion shows!?!
Grandmother: Oh! Yes! Up, up...
Alison: Up at Eastman! And we'd put on old records and come down the stairs. What wonderful memories...
Grandmother: Yes, those were great memories. What are you doing?
Alison: Writing.
Grandmother: Doesn't look like it.
Alison: I'm typing our  conversations on my phone! I'm keeping special memories!
Grandmother: What in the world is special about this?
Alison: This wonderful conversation!

MeandMarj: Where's Steve?

Grandmother: Where's Steve and when's he coming back?
Alison: He's in the Pennsylvania countryside with cows and everything.
Grandmother: Really? Why don't you milk them and get milk for free?
Alison: Well, I've never really seen cows, but goats, yes!
Grandmother: Do his parents ask about the setup when he visits?
Alison: What do you mean?
Grandmother: Did he tell them it was a tiny old dump!?
Alison: Why would he say that?
Grandmother: I don't know, to get a reaction?

MeandMarj: What do you do with your sheets?

Grandmother: How do you sleep down there?
Alison: Fabulous! And I'm really excited because I have clean sheets!
Grandmother: What do you do with your sheets? You don't iron them, do you?
Alison: Oh no! That takes forever.
Grandmother: I always iron my sheets.
Alison: Want to iron my sheets?
Grandmother: No.

MeandMarj: You eat the strangest things!

Grandmother: What is that!?!
Alison: Chips and salsa.
Grandmother: You eat the strangest things!
Alison: Why?
Grandmother: Well, it's not meat and potatoes. 
Alison: So, anything that is not meat and potatoes is strange?
Grandmother: Or rice or vegetables.

MeandMarj: Tea Time

Alison: This tea is delicious!
Grandmother: I didn't know you were so fond of tea.
Alison: Oh, Grandmother, I got it from you! I have fine memories of us having tea at 4. 
Grandmother: Well, I got that from my mother. It's a great habit to get into. A nice pick-me-up to get through the rest of the day!
Alison: That's for sure! Let me take a pic! Oh, you look great! Wow, Grandmother, you are beautiful!
Grandmother: You are as bad as Lee, the hairdresser. She's always telling me how pretty I am! It annoys me.
Alison: Why? What do you think you look like!?! An old hag?
Grandmother: Yes! Exactly.
Alison: Well, that's not true! Take it back!

MeandMarj: Oh! This is fun!

Grandmother: Oh! This is fun! The vegetable soup has letters in it! D... oh, that's a q, s, u... oh! There's an r...
Alison: Glad you like it so much. Better add it to the grocery list! Do you want some pound cake and ice cream for dessert?
Grandmother: That's just what I was going for, how did you guess?
Alison: I had an inkling!

MeandMarj: Sweetie pie!

Grandmother: What can I get you, honey?
(No one responds, so Grandmother looks at Steve...)
Grandmother: I'm talking to you, sweetie pie!

MeandMarj: Don't let him outrun you!

Alison: Grandmother, Steve ran 13.1 miles last weekend. Just 6 days ago, I ran the half 30 minutes slower.
Grandmother: Well, I didn't run it.
Alison: We are going running now.
Grandmother: Don't let him outrun you!

MeandMarj: I thought I was the only one!

Grandmother: Steve, what can I get you? Juice? Tea? Coffee?
Alison: Steve doesn't like coffee, Grandmother.
Grandmother: Really!?! I thought I was the only one in the world who didn't like coffee! We can be pals!

MeandMarj: I'm glad you told me!

Reporter on News 4: This is a Special News 4 report. Today is Saturday, September, 24th.
Grandmother: I'm glad you told me!

MeandMarj: Are you ready for book club?

Alison: Grandmother, are you ready for book club? Everyone should be here in about 10 minutes!
Grandmother: I'm going up to bed. I'll go up the back stairs before everyone gets here.
Alison: But, Grandmother, you are the life of the party! You can't do that...
Grandmother: But my back hurts...
Alison: Don't you have fond memories of girls' nights? Book clubs? Women getting together and complaining about their husbands?
Grandmother: I don't remember any of that!
I'm putting the cheese on the cheese platter...
Grandmother: Those knives are too big.
Alison: Okay, can you find me some proper cheese knives?
Grandmother goes hunting for cheese knives and we decide on a couple - the doorbell rings...
Alison: Everyone is here!
Grandmother: I'm going up!
Alison: But Grandmother, they are at the door! You have to at least say "hello".
Grandmother: Okay.
Introductions are made...
Kristen: It's so nice to meet you, I've heard so many things about you!
Grandmother: Good things, I hope!
Alison: Grandmother, I'm going to get plates for the hors d'oeuvres.
Grandmother: Make sure you take the glass ones. I'm going to excuse myself. I'm going up!
Alison: Okay! Good night!

MeandMarj: Goody for you.

Alison: Grandmother, I ran 13.1 miles today!
Grandmother: Goody for you.
Alison: Steve ran 13.1 miles today! 30 minutes faster than I did...
Grandmother: Goody for him.

MeandMarj: A little bit of powder...

Grandmother: Well, you look nice this morning. Where are you going?
Alison: Work, it's Wednesday.
Grandmother: But it's so gloomy out. I don't like days like these.
Alison: Me neither.
Grandmother: Well, you look pretty!
Alison: Thank you! Its amazing what some makeup will do!
Grandmother: A little bit of powder, a little bit of paint... makes you look like what you ain't!

MeandMarj: It was a success!

Grandmother: How was last night?
Alison: It was a success! The girls loved the dinner. The only thing was the pork took longer than I had expected so we had to wait about 20 minutes. It sure is difficult entertaining.
Grandmother: That is certainly true! You can't just put together a big party like that. And if you don't do it frequently enough, you have to start all over.
Alison: Exactly! All the more reason to have more parties! Can we have a Halloween party?
Grandmother: No.

MeandMarj: Don't think that will happen.

Alison: Grandmother, maybe I can get Steve to move here.
Grandmother: I don't think that will happen. It was great spending my life in the Navy because if you didn't like a place, you knew you weren't going to be there that long! My mother didn't like Washington state. My father loved it since he was a great outdoorsman.
Alison: I bet he would've liked visiting me in Colorado, and we could have gone hiking.
Grandmother: Oh yes, we went hiking. One time, we went backpacking through the Olympic Mountains and I had a 35 lb pack on my back.

MeandMarj: Aren't we a cute couple?

Alison: Grandmother, aren't we a cute couple?
Grandmother: I wouldn't say cute. Certainly attractive, but not cute.
Alison: Why not?
Grandmother: Cute is short and petite.
Alison: Aren't I short and petite?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: What am I then?
Grandmother: I'd say average.

MeandMarj: I guess I'll see you sometime in the future...

Alison: Good night, Grandmother!
Grandmother: Good night, I guess I'll see you sometime in the future...
Alison: How about breakfast tomorrow morning?
Grandmother: Okay, let's do that.

MeandMarj: Three glamorous gals!

Grandmother: Three glamorous gals!

Alison: That's my friend, Sarah, and my friend, Lexi. Lexi was married in March, and Sarah is getting married next July.

Grandmother: Why is everyone getting married?

Alison: Why did you get married?

Grandmother: I don't know.

Alison: You don't?

Grandmother: I guess I had known him awhile...it was the thing to do.

MeandMarj: Make sure you have the right postage!

Grandmother: It's time for me to go to bed. Let me make sure I have everything...
Alison: Don't worry! If you forget something, I'll make sure to mail it to you.
Grandmother: Just make sure you have the right postage!

MeandMarj: Nice digs down here!

Grandmother: These sure are nice digs down here!
Alison: Yup, its great!

MeandMarj: You're crazy!

Alison: I just ran 10 miles!
Grandmother: You're crazy!
Walking down the stairs...
Alison: Ow, ow, ow...
Grandmother: What's wrong with you?
Alison: My legs hurt!
Grandmother: Well, I should think so. What are you trying to do? Kill yourself?
Alison: Grandmother, a man whistled at me while I was running!
Grandmother: Well you'd be disappointed if they didn't, wouldn't you?
Downstairs...
Grandmother: This really is a nice apartment.
Alison: Want to live down here with me?
Grandmother: I like my bigger apartment upstairs!

MeandMarj: Your hair doesn't look right.

Grandmother: Your hair doesn't look right.
Alison: I know. It's wet. I have to blow dry it.
Grandmother: Oh, okay. As long as you aren't going out looking like that!
Alison: Of course not!

MeandMarj: I guess so, I was asleep!

Alison: Good morning, Grandmother, did you sleep well?
Grandmother: I guess so, I was asleep. What a dreary looking day.
Alison: It's awful. I don't want to go to work.
Grandmother: Just go back to bed. I think that's what I'll do.
Alison: Well, I can't do that. I wish I was more motivated.
Grandmother: Just think of all the great people you can see at work!
Alison: That's true! Maybe my friend, Lexi, and I can get coffee today. Thanks, Grandmother!

MeandMarj: This isn't a bad hole down here!

Grandmother: You've got your kitchen, your library...this isn't a bad hole down here!
Alison: What else could I need?
Grandmother: You got a stove, a bathroom, a shower! Not bad!

MeandMarj: Boy, that thing does everything!

Grandmother and I are looking at my new laptop...

Grandmother: So, you say your dad bought that for you? That was nice of him!
Alison: Yes, but I needed it for school. I couldn't go to school without it.
Grandmother: How did I go to school without it?
Alison: Well, you didn't need to know the same things I needed to know.
Grandmother: Well, you need to know how to type to run that thing don't you? I don't know how to type. You need some nice music down here.
Alison: You want nice music? I have nice music for you!
Two seconds later - Symphony n.64 in F Major
Alison: How's this for nice music?
Grandmother: It's all right.
Alison: Just "all right"? Why just "all right"? What kind of music do you like? La Boheme?
Grandmother: Yes, I like that. Oh, it's 10 till 8. It's late, I need to go home.
Alison: Okay, we'll listen to opera then, Carmen.
Grandmother: Oh, what's that? I like that! Oh, that I know! 

Grandmother hums away to the opera music

MeandMarj: You down here?

Grandmother: You down here?
Alison: Yes, Ma'am!
Grandmother: You in bed!?! You are in bed already?
Alison: It's bed time!
Grandmother: Well, it looks comfortable. It's warm enough? You don't need any more blankets?
Alison: You want to sleep down here with me?
Grandmother: Well, I like my own bed.
Alison: Do you approve of my apartment?
Grandmother: Yes, I do! It's not a bad little apartment, not bad at all!
Alison: You don't want to live down here with me?
Grandmother: No, I like my own...did you make this table skirt?
Alison: No, I don't have the talent, like yourself.
Grandmother: It doesn't take talent, just common sense. What time do you have to get up in the morning?
Alison: 5:15.
Grandmother: 5:15!?! Why so early?
Alison: Because I'm going running.
Grandmother: That's awful early!

MeandMarj: I'm old enough to do what I want!

Dad: Mom, why do you put up such a fight about taking your pills?
Grandmother: Because I'm old enough to do what I want!
Dad: I do what I want too, am I not old enough? How old do you have to be?
Grandmother: NO, you need to be at least my age.

MeandMarj: You threw away all my food!

Alison: Grandmother, I'm so glad we cleaned out the freezer! We are all organized.
Grandmother: You threw out all my food!
Alison: I didn't throw out the food that was any good.
Grandmother: All the food is good.
Alison: Not if it has been in the freezer for years! I'm not going to throw away good food. Don't you trust my judgement?
Grandmother: Not all the time...

MeandMarj: If they were perfect...

Alison: Grandmother, how are the oatmeal cookies?
Grandmother: They are all right.
Alison: Just all right? What about on a scale of 1 - 10?
Grandmother: An 8.
Alison: What makes them an 8?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: How come they aren't a 10?
Grandmother: I don't know, they just aren't.
Alison: Okay, what would make them a 10?
Grandmother: If they were perfect...
Alison: What makes a cookie perfect?
Grandmother: It's just... perfect.