MeandMarj: You are driving by yourself? But it's dark out!

Alison: Grandmother, it's Alison! How are you?
Grandmother: I'm doing fine. Where are you calling from?
Alison: Bethesda, I'm just leaving work.
Grandmother: On your way home?
Alison: No, I'm driving up to Philadelphia now.
Grandmother: But it's dark out!
Alison: I know. It gets dark so early!
Grandmother: Is Steve driving?
Alison: No, Grandmother. I'm going to visit him so I'm driving to see him.
Grandmother: By yourself? That whole way?
Alison: Yes, its not far and I'll be back on Monday.
Grandmother: Will Steve drive you back?
Alison: No, he has to go to work in Pennsylvania. I'll drive back by myself. But I've done it before, I can do it.
Grandmother: You are such a capable woman! Be careful!
Alison: I will!

MeandMarj: Me, Myself and I...

Grandmother: If it's alright with you, I'm going to go up.
Alison: Then I'll be lonely down here by myself!
Grandmother: You can spend time with your, "me, myself and I"!

MeandMarj: What a hefty breakfast!

I have an egg and an English muffin on my plate, and Grandmother has an egg and a piece of toast on hers...
Grandmother: Wow, what a hefty breakfast!
Alison: Well, I ran 5 miles this morning! I need a hearty breakfast. You know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Grandmother: Oh really? It is?
Alison: Well, it's good to have eggs for protein and sustenance throughout the day.
Grandmother: Well, you're going to get fat, eating all that!

MeandMarj: Ooooh, we are having a party!

The dinner table is set for the Halloween dinner party and Grandmother walks into the dining room while I'm in the kitchen...

Grandmother: Ooooh, we are having a party! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 people... Oh, what fun!
Alison: Yes, we are! Tomorrow night is the big Halloween party!
Grandmother: Can I watch?
Alison: Of course, Grandmother you are the main attraction!
Grandmother: I wouldn't want to bore anyone.
Alison: Of course, you wouldn't! Look at the bowls I'm using...
Grandmother: Oh wow!
Alison: Now, if you are overcome with the desire to carve pumpkins today, by all means, don't hold yourself back.
Grandmother: I wouldn't want to mess it up. You may not like the way I do it...
Alison: I doubt that!

MeandMarj: Sue 'em!

Alison: Oh, Grandmother, I don't feel so well.
Grandmother: What's wrong?
Alison: I was really sick last night. I think I ate something bad.
Grandmother: What do you think it was?
Alison: I think it was fast food.
Grandmother: Well sue 'em!
Alison: What?
Grandmother: That's what everyone does these days, isn't it?

MeandMarj: That's a bunch of bullshit!

Alison: Grandmother, I'm going to sleep over at my friends house tonight. 
Grandmother: Okay, where?
Alison: Chicago.
Grandmother: Chicago!?!
Alison: Yes, we are going to look at bridesmaid dresses. See, look at the itinerary - brunch, and the bride is treating us. Isn't that nice, because we are such dutiful bridesmaids.

Grandmother: That's a bunch of bullshit!
Alison: What!?!
Grandmother: I never did any of that when I was young!
Alison: What do you mean? You didn't have bridesmaids walk down the aisle? You walked down all by yourself?
Grandmother: Yes, of course!

MeandMarj: I like to stay home.

Alison: Oh my gosh Grandmother this looks like so much fun! History and tea!  http://apps.alexandriava.gov/Calendar/Detail.aspx?si=1813 
Grandmother: I like to stay home.
Alison: Well, you really don't need to leave your house since we just ordered your new frame online.
Grandmother: Yeah, you just get on your machine and you can do anything.
Alison: Exactly!

MeandMarj: Thank you for letting me live here.

Alison: Thanks for letting me live here, Grandmother.
Grandmother: Well, I can't slop around this big old house by myself.
Alison: Well, I'm glad I can help out!

MeandMarj: He was only a commander at the time of this photo.

Grandmother: He was only a commander at the time of this photo.
Alison: Oh, really?
Grandmother: Yes, only three stripes. When Fred Corle retired, he was a vice admiral.
Alison: Well, aren't you glad we ordered that frame?
Grandmother: I guess so. I mean, I just can't... it's so simple.
Alison: What else do you want to do?
Grandmother: Mildew.

MeandMarj: Dating Advice: Part 2

Grandmother: Are there any attractive men at your office?
Alison: Well, yes, definitely.
Grandmother: Attached?
Alison: Well, does "not married" equal "unattached"? I mean, most people are dating other people.
Grandmother: Well, then, you could date! 
Alison: What about Steve?
Grandmother: The more the merrier!

MeandMarj: Dating Advice: Part 1

Alison: Grandmother, I'm nervous about going to the beach with Steve's family!
Grandmother: Why? What's the worst that can happen?
Alison: They hate me!
Grandmother: So, they hate you. Tell Steve he can't marry you, so you find another man!
Alison: That sounds so easy!

MeandMarj: What should I wear?

Alison: Grandmother, what should I wear tomorrow?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: Well, I want to wear something cute.
Grandmother: Cute or sophisticated?
Alison: Oh, well, sophisticated. What does that look like?
Grandmother: Sophisticated!

MeandMarj: Sour Patch for Kids!

Alison: Grandmother, try this candy.
Grandmother: Mmm... it's pretty good ... what is it? 

Grandmother looks at the package...

Grandmother: Sour Patch for Kids...
Alison: They are my favorite! I'm so glad you like them too!
Grandmother: They are pretty good!

MeandMarj: Blue jeans?

Grandmother: Where are you going?
Alison: To work.
Grandmother: Wearing blue jeans?
Alison: We can wear jeans on Friday.
Grandmother: Well, I don't approve of jeans on any day!

MeandMarj: Pottery Barn...

Flipping through the Pottery Barn catalog...
Alison: I didn't see anything I liked in there.
Grandmother: Ugly as sin!
Alison: Well, you don't have to buy anything. That's for sure!
Grandmother hastily flips the magazine over...
Grandmother: Pottery Barn? Looks like it came out of a barn!

MeandMarj: Capon!?!

Alison: Are you excited about Thanksgiving?
Grandmother: Eh, I never really get excited about Thanksgiving because I don't like turkey...
Alison: Really? Well, we can eat something else.
Grandmother: Yes, that's why my family always had capon.
Alison: What's capon?
Grandmother: I knew you were going to ask that! It's an "altered" chicken.
Alison: Interesting!!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capon

MeandMarj: Oh no!

Alison: Good morning!
Grandmother: What?
Alison: Good morning! It's 7 am.
Grandmother: Oh no! Already? How's the weather out?
Alison: Rainy.
Grandmother: Okay, have a great day! I'm going back to bed.

MeandMarj: He was tall!

Alison: So, how did you know you wanted to marry Grandpa?
Grandmother: Well, he was tall. I always said I was going to marry a tall man.
Alison: That was easy!

MeandMarj: So, you go down below.

Grandmother: Okay, so you go down below and I go up above.
Alison: That's one way to look at it.
Grandmother: Can you find your way?
Alison: Yes, Grandmother, I think I can.
Grandmother: Okay, good night! Don't let the bed bugs bite! But if they do, hit them with your shoe!
Alison: Will do!

MeandMarj: What the hell am I going to wear tomorrow?

Alison: What the hell am I going to wear tomorrow?
Grandmother: What did you say?
Alison: What the hell am I going to wear tomorrow?
Grandmother: We don't use that language around here!
Alison: Grandmother, what would you recommend I wear to work tomorrow?
Grandmother: Clothes.

MeandMarj: Where's Dora?

Alison: Do you like the brownies?
Grandmother: They're all right.
Alison: What should we have for dessert next week?
Grandmother: What's Dora going to prepare?
Alison: Where's Dora anyways?
Grandmother: 10 feet under.
Alison: Well, not sure what dessert she'll be able to prepare for us.
Grandmother: She used to make the best lemon meringue pie...
Alison: Maybe I could buy one?
Grandmother: When I had beaus visit, well, the ones I didn't really like....I would tell her, Dora, "Tell them Miss Marjorie isn't home!" and she would always say, "Miss Marjorie, I'm not going to lie for you..I'm not going to lie for you!"
Alison: Did that make you mad?
Grandmother: I would say, "You better!"
Alison: Those beaus must have been pretty awful!
Grandmother: Pretty boring!

MeandMarj: Wait..wait...wait!

Alison: I'm going to throw away this paper.
Grandmother: Wait..wait..wait!
Alison: But it's yesterday's paper! We will have a new one tomorrow.
Grandmother: But look, he's jumping out of such a glamorous bed!

MeandMarj: I have ear bugs!

Grandmother is using my iPhone (hands-free) when Steve calls...

Alison: Grandmother, answer it!
Grandmother: Hello?
Steve: Hi Grandma, it's the tall man!
Grandmother: Oh! That must be Steve!
Alison: Grandmother, tell him you have ear buds in...
Grandmother: Your friend wants me to tell you I have ear bugs.
Alison: No Grandmother...ear BUDS!
Grandmother: Ear buds!
Alison: Oh, tell him I'll call him back.
Grandmother: Your friend here says she will call you back.
Steve: Okay. Good night, Grandma!

MeandMarj: Well, that was stupid!

Grandmother: What do you hear from Steve?
Alison: Well, he rolled his ankle running last night...
Grandmother: How did that happen?
Alison: Well, it was dark and there was a pothole, and he couldn't see it.
Grandmother: Well, that was stupid!

MeandMarj: What are you doing!?!

Alison: Grandmother, what are you doing with those pills?

Grandmother tries to put the pills in her pocket...
Grandmother: Nothing. 
Alison: Grandmother, I am watching you!
Grandmother: Okay.
10 minutes later...
Alison: Grandmother, what are you doing!?! 

Making noises as she pretends to take her pills...
Grandmother: Watching you, watching me.
Alison: Okay...I'm watching!

MeandMarj: You could learn something, if you hang around me long enough!

We have leftovers for dinner, previously prepared by Dad...

Alison: How is your dinner?
Grandmother: Delicious! You are becoming quite the cook.
Alison: Oh, really?
Grandmother: Yes, you know, you could learn something, if you hang around me long enough!
Alison: So, what is the most important thing I need to know about managing a household?
Grandmother: Have a place for everything and everything in its place.

MeandMarj: I was his favorite!

Alison: Were you close with your mother?
Grandmother: Not particularly...my father and I really got along.
Alison: Oh yeah? What did ya'll do?
Grandmother: We would go hiking in the Olympic mountains. I was his favorite!
Alison: How do you know that?
Grandmother: Because he would always take me hiking.

MeandMarj: Parlez-vous français?

Alison: Wouldn't you love to go to Paris?
Grandmother: Parlez-vous français? Chevrolet coupé!
Alison: Exactly!

MeandMarj: For Halloween?

Alison: Oh, that's a cute jacket!

Grandmother: Oh yes, for Halloween?
Alison: Ha! Not what I was thinking, but okay....

MeandMarj: Can you see?

Alison: Okay, goodnight! I'll walk you upstairs.
Grandmother: No, I can do it on my own.
Alison: Can you see?
Grandmother: No, but I know where I'm going.
Alison: Let me turn on the light.
Grandmother: Okay, you can turn it off. Good night!

MeandMarj: Good morning, Grandmother!

Alison: Good morning, Grandmother!!! Why is your door locked?
Grandmother: Oh, it's locked? Sometimes that happens...
Alison: The door locks itself?
Grandmother: I guess not.
Alison: How are you?
Grandmother: I just had the craziest dream!
Alison: What were you dreaming?
Grandmother: I was golfing!
Alison: Were you winning?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Were you having fun?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Oh, okay. Well, I'll let you go back to dreaming.
Grandmother: Okay. Thank you.
Alison: I'm off to work! I'll see you tonight!
Grandmother: Okay, have a great day!

MeandMarj: I'm seeing you to your door.

Alison: Good night!
Grandmother: Good night! Sleep well. Don't let the bed bugs bite!
Alison: What are you doing? Aren't you going up?
Grandmother: Yes, but I'm seeing you to your door first.
Alison: Well, thank you. I've made it downstairs safely!
Grandmother: Well, don't forget to wake me up in the morning before you go!
Alison: Okay! Good night!

MeandMarj: There must be something in the water.

Grandmother: What do you hear from Steve?
Alison: We are going to a wedding in Lexington, Kentucky this weekend.
Grandmother: Another wedding!?!?! What is it with your friends?
Alison: You mean getting married? Or a lot of them getting married?
Grandmother: A lot of them getting married. They must have drank the wrong water.

MeandMarj: Where are your slippers?

Grandmother: Where are your slippers?
Alison: I don't have any.
Grandmother: Me neither! How about I'll get you a pair and you get me a pair!
Alison: That's a great idea!