MeandMarj: It better be a good one!

Alison: I have a present for you. 

Grandmother: It better be a good one 

Alison: I think you will like it - it's in the kitchen. Is that a good present? 

Grandmother: This cookie? Oh, boy!

MeandMarj: Damn it!!

Grandmother trying to button her robe even though it doesn't fit... 

Grandmother: Damn it! 

Alison: Will you ever let me buy you a new robe? 

Grandmother: Never! 

Alison: Will you stop it? 

Grandmother: It won't stay buttoned! 

Alison: It's because it doesn't fit! You need to either buy a new one or stop eating ice cream!

MeandMarj: You are wearing that to work?

Grandmother: You are wearing that to work?
Alison: Yes, it's Friday - I can wear jeans to work.

MeandMarj: How do I get ready for the Olympics?

Alison: Okay, Grandmother, here is your to do list today:
        1. Get dressed.
        2. Fold rags.
        3. Get ready for the Olympics.
Grandmother: I don't get it.
Alison: You don't get what?
Grandmother: How do I get ready for the Olympics?
Alison: You summon your American pride and get excited!

MeandMarj: When do you want to go to bed?

Grandmother: When do you want to go to bed?
Alison: When do you want to go to bed?
Grandmother: I asked you first.

MeandMarj: How am I?

Alison: How are you?
Grandmother: How am I?
Alison: Yes, how are you?
Grandmother: I'm alright...for an old lady.
Alison: You aren't that old.
Grandmother: I'm pretty old.
Alison: How old are you?
Grandmother: I don't know 89...90.
Alison: Nope...keep trying.
Grandmother: Well, I was born in 1920.
Alison: Okay, what year is it?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: You have the newspaper right there.
Grandmother: July 26, 2012.
Alison: Okay, so how old are you?
Grandmother: I'm 96.
Alison: Oh, Grandmother, you aren't that old.
Grandmother: 95?
Alison: No.
Grandmother: 94?
Alison: No.
Grandmother: 93?
Alison: No.
Grandmother: I give up.
Alison: You were so close - 92!
Grandmother: Well, I was close!

MeandMarj: I don't like it either!

Alison: I don't like my outfit today. 

Grandmother: Is that brown and black? 

Alison: Yes. 

Grandmother: I don't like it either!

MeandMarj: I don't know, but it was good!

Alison: Grandmother, what did you have for dinner?
Grandmother: I don't know, but it was good!

MeandMarj: That was nice!

Grandmother: Thank you for everything!
Alison: Thank you for sitting with me while I had my dinner.
Grandmother: That was nice!

MeandMarj: You want to run a household.

Alison: What makes someone want to be married?
Grandmother: You want to run a household.
Alison: I wouldn't know where to begin.
Grandmother: You've watched your mother, haven't you?
Alison: I guess so.

MeandMarj: There is no sneaking out for a walk in this house!

Grandmother: Alison is that you? Where have you been?
Alison: Grandmother, I went for a walk to return my book to the library.
Grandmother: There is no sneaking out for a walk in this house.
Alison: I told you I was going for a walk.
Grandmother: No, you didn't! Now, what are you going to do?
Alison: Shower.
Grandmother: Shower!?! At this hour?
Alison: Grandmother, it's 9 o'clock and, yes, I worked out so I am going to shower before I go to bed. Good night.
Grandmother: Good night. Don't let the bed bugs bite. If they do hit them with your shoe.
Alison: I know - there are bugs done here.
Grandmother: Really?
Alison: I've had to kill a spider or two.
Grandmother: Two - that's nothing!
Alison: Okay, good night.
Grandmother: Good night!

MeandMarj: That sofa, now I think it looks pretty!

Grandmother: That sofa now looks pretty. 

Alison: It does. 

Grandmother: I want to get new cushions for it. 

Alison: Let's go to the store! 

Grandmother: Now, I suppose?

MeandMarj: Right now, I suppose?

Grandmother: I want to reguild that mirror. 

Alison: Let's go to the store. 

Grandmother: Right now, I suppose? 

Alison: Yes! 

Grandmother: Humph. 

MeandMarj: That's not that unusual!

Alison: I just finished my book about Hemingway's wife.
Grandmother: How was it?
Alison: It was a great book, but Hemingway wasn't much of a gentleman.
Grandmother: How so?
Alison: He cheated on his wife, and had four of them.
Grandmother: That's not that usual!

MeandMarj: You are so skinny!

Grandmother: You are so skinny!
Alison: No, I'm not - I want to lose 5 pounds.
Grandmother: Oh, NO!

MeandMarj: What's today?

Grandmother: What's today?
Alison: Wednesday.
Grandmother: So, you have to go to work today?

MeandMarj: John Paul Jones, you are so handsome!

Grandmother has a poster on the refrigerator of John Paul Jones and she's written in soft pencil along the frame:

John Paul Jones, you are so handsome. I wish all midshipman looked like you!

MeandMarj: Nuts or Normal?

Fox News: Nuts or Normal (on TV...)

Alison: Grandmother, are you nuts or normal?
Grandmother: I'm normal. I'm eating ice cream for breakfast. 

(Straight from the carton!)
Alison: And that's normal?

Grandmother smiles.

MeandMarj: But those are blue jeans!

Alison: Okay, let's try these pants on today.
Grandmother: Where did you get those?
Alison: In your closet...uh oh...doesn't look like they fit. We'll try another pair.
Grandmother: But those are blue jeans!
Alison: It doesn't matter...you aren't going anywhere today and they fit! You are going to have to stop eating ice cream!

MeandMarj: Someone put toothpaste on my toothbrush.

Alison: Time to get ready for bed - brush your teeth.
Grandmother: Someone put toothpaste on my toothbrush.
After Grandmother washes her face and climbs in bed, I go back into the bathroom...
Alison: Grandmother! You didn't brush your teeth.
Grandmother: Yes, I did.
Alison: But there is still toothpaste on the toothbrush, so you obviously didn't.
Grandmother: Yes, I did!

MeandMarj: Where are you going in that?

Alison: Good morning! Time to get up!
Grandmother: Where are you going in that?
Alison: I just got back from the gym...time to shower.
Grandmother: Have you showered this morning?
Alison: Nope...I need to as well. Once we shower, we'll meet at the breakfast table!
Grandmother: Okay, see you down there.

MeandMarj: Get your head out of the newspaper and finish your breakfast!

Grandmother: Let's turn on the TV and see what's going on in the world.
Alison: Let's read the paper.
Grandmother: You better eat your breakfast.
Alison: I am.
Grandmother: Get your head out of the newspaper and finish your breakfast!
Alison: Okay, I can read and eat at the same time.
Grandmother: Well, you better get going or you are going to be late.

MeandMarj: Oh, poo!

Alison: I guess we should put the laundry in the dryer. 

Grandmother: It's done? 

Alison: Yup! 

As Grandmother is getting up...

Grandmother: My back hurts. 

Alison: You don't have to do that. 

Grandmother: I can do it. 

Alison: You are the best grandmother a girl could ask for. 

Grandmother: Oh, poo!

MeandMarj: Make sure you make him a sandwich!

Alison: Grandmother, thank you so much for putting out the cereal and setting the table. Thank you so much!
Grandmother: Oh, that was nothing.
Alison: Well, Steve leaves tomorrow at 5 am.
Grandmother: Make sure you make him a sandwich before he goes!
Alison: I will.

MeandMarj: Don't cool down the whole outside!

Alison: I'm going to go get the paper outside.
Grandmother: Close the door...you don't need to cool down the whole outside!