MeandMarj: You are ripping my ear off!

Alison: Okay, let's get this turtleneck sweater off.
Grandmother: Wait a minute!
Alison: Come on!
Grandmother: You are ripping my ear off!
Alison: No, I'm not! It's right here!

MeandMarj: What's that "hog calling" all about?

Alison attempting to sing: Bah bah black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir...three bags full.
Grandmother: What's that "hog calling" all about?

MeandMarj: There's only one right way to do it!

Alison: Grandmother! I'm so excited you showed me the real way to puff up the pillows!
Grandmother: Well, sure, there's only one right way to do it!

MeandMarj: Now? Are you crazy?

Alison: Want to wash your hair now? It's 9:15 pm.
Grandmother: Now? Are you crazy?

MeandMarj: Gotta do something to it!

Grandmother: My hair is a mess.
Alison: I'm going to wash it tomorrow...how does that sound?
Grandmother: Gotta do something to it!

MeandMarj: I don't have to do anything!

Alison: Okay, I'll pick out my favorite options and then you have to select one.
Grandmother: I don't have to do anything!
Alison: Okay, I'll choose it for you - don't you want a new robe?
Grandmother: I don't care.

MeandMarj: Funny? Funny, "haha"?

Alison: What do you want to do?
Grandmother: Mildew.
Alison: Let's go make something!
Grandmother: I don't like to cook.
Alison: I'll cook and you can watch - you like to eat?
Grandmother: Not especially.
Alison: Okay, you can just sit there and do nothing.
Grandmother: What are you doing?
Alison: Writing down everything you say because it's funny!
Grandmother: Funny? Funny, "haha"?

MeandMarj: We just finished breakfast!

Alison: What should we have for lunch today?
Grandmother: We just finished breakfast!
Alison: What did you have?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: So, it doesn't count.

MeandMarj: Of course I'm going to vote!

Phone rings....

Grandmother: I'm coming...I'm coming....I'm coming!

Grandmother: Hello?

Grandmother: What? I can't hear you! What? Who is this? I can't hear you!

Grandmother pauses...

Grandmother: OF COURSE I'M GOING TO VOTE!

Grandmother slams the phone down.

MeandMarj: Bag - it?

Alison: It sure is wet out there.
Grandmother: You could say that again.
Alison: Well, I have a present for you.
Grandmother: Oh, what is it?
Alison: Guess!
Grandmother: Bag - it? 

(She meant, "baguette?")
Alison: No...
Grandmother: It's a cookie! It's a pumpkin! Aw, cute...did you see this?
Alison: I did! I bought it! How is it?
Grandmother: It was alright.

MeandMarj: Of course, Dr. Kaufman, I'll take my pills.

Alison: The problem, Doctor, is she won't take her pills.
Dr. Kaufman: Now now, is that true beautiful lady?
Grandmother: Oh Doctor, I don't really like those pills.
Dr. Kaufman: Won't you please take them for us?
Grandmother: Sure, Doctor, of course I'll my pills.
Alison: Uh, Dr. Kaufman I'd like to take a picture of this! Now, you promise you'll take your pills?
Grandmother: Okay!

MeandMarj: It's a Naval Academy ring.

Grandmother: You know, I almost thought I lost this ring.
Alison: Grandmother, this is very special, you can't lose it!
Grandmother: I know...it's a Naval Academy ring. You know, not many people have the Naval Academy ring.
Alison: Oh really, why?
Grandmother: I don't know, but my mother did when she was engaged, you know.
Alison: Well, let's make sure we keep it in a safe place.

Inscribed: FWC and MAD 9/10/42 and always!

(Frederic William Corle and Marjorie Anne Dudley)

MeandMarj: Well then, it's about time!

At the doctor's office and they are about to take Grandmother's blood pressure...

Alison: Grandmother, don't take off that jacket. You aren't wearing a shirt underneath.
Grandmother: Well, if they haven't seen a naked woman's body by now, well then, it's about time!
Dr. Kaufman: So you normally go around topless?
Grandmother: Of course!

MeandMarj: You are a great driver!

Grandmother: You are a great driver - you really know where you are going!
Alison: Thank you, Grandmother.
Grandmother: No one has ever given me such a compliment...ever!

MeandMarj: My father was strict!

Alison: What was it like growing up in your household?
Grandmother: My father was strict!
Alison: What do you mean?
Grandmother: One time my mother went shopping...we always did our shopping in Seattle when we lived in Bremerton...and she bought these beautiful high heel shoes. We came home and she was so proud of them and tried them on for my father. He was so mad because he thought high heel shoes were stupid so he took the shoe and broke off the heel. Mother was so upset, she cried!
Alison: Oh that's so sad! What did you do?
Grandmother: We stayed out of that!

MeandMarj: You have a big mouth!

Alison: Here is a picture from my birthday last year.
Grandmother: Gee, you have a big mouth!

MeandMarj: Wait a minute...

Grandmother: Anybody down there?
Alison: Yup! You want to come down here?
Grandmother: Wait a minute...I want to talk to you....
Alison: Okay....let's look at kitchen mats...what color do you want?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: Okay...how about this one?
Grandmother: I don't know.
Alison: You aren't being very helpful.
Grandmother: I don't feel like being very helpful.

MeandMarj: Do you have to go to work tomorrow?

Alison: Yay! Tomorrow is Friday!
Grandmother: Do you have to go to work tomorrow?
Alison: Yes, it's Friday but then it's Saturday and I don't have to go to work!
Grandmother: That's nice.

MeandMarj: Does she get paid to do that?

Grandmother: Who sent you that stunning jacket?
Alison: Louise! Isn't she generous?
Grandmother: Where does she get her money?
Alison: She's a doctor!
Grandmother: Does she get paid to do that?
Alison: Yes, she is a surgeon! She doesn't do that for free!

MeandMarj: Wake me up for breakfast!

Alison: Okay, good night.
Grandmother: Wait, crack my window...not that much...a little more....a little less...okay...that's fine.
Alison: Okay, sleep well.
Grandmother: Wake me up for breakfast!
Alison: Will do! Good night!
Grandmother: Sleep tight...don't let the bed bugs bite!

MeandMarj: You are just stupid!

Grandmother: What are you doing? Doing laundry at this hour? You're crazy!
Alison: Grandmother, its only 7:30 and I am going to watch the debate, and then I am going to get up early tomorrow and go for a run and then pack because I leave straight from work tomorrow so I have to do laundry now. I'm not crazy!
Grandmother: You're not crazy, you are just stupid!

MeandMarj: What did I do?

Alison: How was your day?
Grandmother: Fine.
Alison: What did you do?
Grandmother: What did I do? Mildewed!

MeandMarj: I'd say, "Forget it!"

Alison: Grandmother, what would you say if your husband wanted you to work?
Grandmother: I'd say, "Forget it!"

MeandMarj: You better!

Alison: Okay, my taxi is here!
Grandmother: Wait a minute! What are you doing?
Alison: I'm going to dinner...I haven't had mine yet. I'll be home by 9:30.
Grandmother: You better!

MeandMarj: He studies like the dickens!

Alison: I'm home!
Grandmother: Where's your better half?
Alison: He's studying!
Grandmother: He studies like the dickens!

MeandMarj: They always tell me how beautiful I am!

Alison: How was Lee's? Do you like your hairdo?

Grandmother: Oh, you know.

Alison: What do you mean?

Grandmother: They always tell me how beautiful I am!

MeandMarj: I am thankful for many things....

Alison: Ooooh, look at this fabulous magnet we received! 

"I am thankful for many things...but mostly for good wine and my exquisite taste in friends!"

Don't you love it! Stand here and smile :-)

MeandMarj: Yes, I prop my window with Chanel #5.

Alison: It may be difficult to see....

                                 But, that is a box of Chanel #5 propping up Grandmother's window!

MeandMarj: The largest grocery store I've ever seen in all my life!

Alison: How was it?
Grandmother: I went to the largest grocery store I've ever seen in all my life!
Alison: Oh, Grandmother, wait until you see Tysons Corner! You won't recognize it!
Grandmother: It was worse than Tysons!
Alison: Are you sure?
Grandmother: I felt like I was coming back to my little ole country town in Alexandria.
Alison: Wait, were you in Tysons?
Grandmother: Yes, we were!

MeandMarj: $100

Alison: Anything else I can get you?
Grandmother: Yes.
Alison: What?
Grandmother: $100.

MeandMarj: Is today Friday?

Alison: I'm so happy tomorrow is Saturday!
Grandmother: Is today Friday?
Alison: Yup.
Grandmother: Okay.

MeandMarj: Why should it be anything but?

Alison: How's your ice water?
Grandmother: It's fine - why should it be anything but?
Alison: But you aren't drinking it?
Grandmother: So?

MeandMarj: I can't imagine why!?!

Alison: Well, I'm excited to see Steve.
Grandmother: You are? I can't imagine why!?!