MeandMarj: I don't know why all these gals want to get married!

Grandmother: What are you doing now?
Alison: Researching destinations for my friend's bachelorette party.
Grandmother: I don't know why all these gals want to get married!
Alison: I don't know either! Why did you get married?
Grandmother: I don't know.

MeandMarj: I don't want to see her!

Alison: I think we should get your hair done today. Lee wants to see you.
Grandmother: Well, I don't want to see her!
Alison: Can I wash your hair?
Grandmother: No!

MeandMarj: I'm still here!

Alison: Good morning. How are you?
Grandmother: I'm fine. I guess...I'm still here!

MeandMarj: Anybody down there?

Grandmother: Anybody down there?
Alison: Good morning!
Grandmother: Get up!

MeandMarj: Somebody always puts this on my toothbrush!

Alison: Ready?
Grandmother: Okay, I'll wash my face now.
Alison: Sounds good!

After I've put toothpaste on Grandmother's toothbrush, and we walk into the bathroom...

Grandmother: Somebody always puts this on my toothbrush!
Alison: Who do you think that is?
Grandmother: I have no idea...

MeandMarj: I DON'T THINK SO!

Alison: Good morning! Oh you are getting dressed already? I think it would be a good idea to shower
Grandmother: I DON'T THINK SO!

MeandMarj: Erectile dysfunction?

Cialis commercial on TV...

Alison: Grandmother, do you know what erectile dysfunction is?
Grandmother: Erectile dysfunction?
Alison: Can you believe there is an advertisement on TV for erectile dysfunction? Did you have these ads on TV when you were growing up?
Grandmother: TV? We didn't have a TV. We had a radio.

MeandMarj: Laundry at this time of night!?!

Alison: Grandmother, is it alright if I do my laundry?
Grandmother: It's 8:15!
Alison: So?
Grandmother: I just don't see why you would do laundry at this time of night!?!

MeandMarj: Do you remember when she was little?

Alison: Can you believe Tory has graduated college?
Grandmother: Little Tory?
Alison: Yes! Little Tory!
Grandmother: No. It doesn't seem possible! Do you remember when she was little?
Alison: I do! You know what that means...if the youngest cousin has graduated college we are old!
Grandmother: You certainly are!

MeandMarj: I don't get that combination!

Alison: I'm having parmesan chicken over capellini tonight.
Grandmother: I don't get it.
Alison: You don't get what? The chicken or the pasta?
Grandmother: I don't get that combination!

MeandMarj: You plan too much!

Alison: I'm going to book club tonight. We read The Alchemist. It's about finding one's self-destiny and how there isn't a direct path to getting there. Did you have a direct path in life?
Grandmother: No..I don't think so.
Alison: Is your life exactly as you planned?
Grandmother: I didn't plan.
Alison: Did you ever think about your 5-year goals and where you wanted to be and what you wanted your life to be like?
Grandmother: No. I didn't. You plan too much!

MeandMarj: In the dining room!

Alison: Tomorrow night I'm having girls over for dinner.

Grandmother: In the dining room! 

Alison: We can't have dinner in the kitchen? 

Grandmother: No!

MeandMarj: That's why you should marry a rich man!

Alison: The more I think of my own retirement, the more respect I have for Grandpa and all the years he worked, and all the planning he did to plan for his life and yours! 

Grandmother: He was a good man. That's why you need to marry a rich man!

MeandMarj: You can serve your community by cleaning your own back patio!

Alison: Today I'm going to Glen Echo park to clean, landscape, and weed areas of the park as part of Marriott's Spirit to Serve our Communities Day.

Grandmother: You can serve your community by cleaning your own back patio!

MeandMarj: It's greasy!

Alison: You know what the problem with Greece is?
Grandmother: It's greasy!

MeandMarj: Goodnight, your earrings are in!

Alison: Okay, goodnight, Grandmother.
Grandmother: Goodnight, your earrings are in!
Alison: Oh, okay, thank you.
Grandmother: Goodbye. Uh, Goodnight!

MeandMarj: I'm not that desperate!

Alison: Want to watch Desperate Housewives with me?
Grandmother: I'm not that desperate!
Alison: It's really desperate - they even kill people.
Grandmother: That is desperate!

MeandMarj: You're all right!

Dad: How am I as your son?
Grandmother: You're all right.
Mo: How am I as a daughter-in-law?
Grandmother: You're great.
Alison: How am I as your grandaughter?
Grandmother: You're nice.
Alison: How's Steve?
Grandmother: He's tall.

MeandMarj: Boy, that was a wild goose chase!

Alison: Tell us a story about Dad when he was growing up!
Grandmother: One time, we were driving from DC to Philadelphia and we thought he was asleep when we arrived home, and all of the sudden he jumps up and screams, "Boy, that was a wild goose chase!" We had no idea where on earth he had heard that phrase before!

MeandMarj: Maybe...

Alison: It's five o'clock - can I get you anything?
Grandmother: I could use something. 
Alison: What do you want?
Grandmother: I don't know. 
Alison: Do you want something?
Grandmother: No... Maybe...

MeandMarj: Happy Mother's Day!

Alison: Happy Mother's Day!
Grandmother: Happy Mother's Day to you, too!
Alison: Well, we can celebrate I'm not a mother! 
Grandmother: Okay, that's a good idea!

MeandMarj: You can live in my basement!

Reading from this article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/post/the-ten-things-they-really-dont-tell-you-at-graduation/2012/05/03/gIQAaQlLzT_blog.html

Alison: "Next year, you will probably be unemployed, or live in your parents’ basement, or be unemployed and live in your parents’ basement."
Grandmother: You can live in my basement!
Alison: Grandmother, I do live in your basement! And, I've been living there a year!
Grandmother: Oh.

MeandMarj: Before I die....

Alison: What do you want to do before you die?
Grandmother: Nothing
Alison: Do you want to travel?
Grandmother: I've traveled enough.
Alison: Do you want to read a book?
Grandmother: No.
Alison: Do you want to try any new restaurants?
Grandmother: I hate to eat out.
Alison: Do you want to stay right at home?
Grandmother: Ever so humble, there is no place like home!

MeandMarj: I don't think.

Alison: We really need to get this patio fixed! It would be great to have a party in the garden and then we would have something to forward to and plan for.
Grandmother: Who would we invite?
Alison: All our friends. What do you think?
Grandmother: I don't think.

MeandMarj: So, you come home and eat that crap?

Grandmother: What will you have for dinner?
Alison: I already had dinner, but I'll have dessert.
Grandmother: That's all? So, you come home and eat that crap?
Alison: That's funny - coming from someone who eats a quart of ice cream every two days!

MeandMarj: Those pants!

Grandmother: Are you just getting home?
Alison: Yup.
Grandmother: Those pants!
Alison: What's wrong with them?
Grandmother: They are skinny pants.
Alison: What do you mean, "They are skinny pants"?
Grandmother: The pants make you look skinny.
Alison: Ah!

MeandMarj: Was he ever married?

Grandmother: Tell me all about your weekend!
Alison: It was great. We went to this Van Gogh exhibit at the art museum. Really fascinating. It focused on his works from the last four years of his life. I wonder why he was so depressed.
Grandmother: Was he ever married?
Alison: I don't think so.
Grandmother: That's probably why.

MeandMarj: But, you couldn't earn it!

Grandmother: What's tomorrow?
Alison: Thursday.
Grandmother: So, you have to work?
Alison: Yes, but if you paid me, I could stay with you all day.
Grandmother: But you couldn't earn it.
Alison: What do you mean?
Grandmother: You'd have to clean the house, shine all the brass and all the silver...
Alison: I think I could do it!
Grandmother: Well, sleep well. Don't let all the bugs down there get you.
Alison: Okay, we'll continue our negotiations later!
Grandmother: Ha, okay! Good night!

MeandMarj: You look 24!

Grandmother: That is my favorite painting!

Alison: Oh, wow, it was Easter, 1990. I was 6 years old.
Grandmother: You must have been older than that.
Alison: No, I was born in the fall of 1983 and it was Easter. So, I was 6 and a half.
Grandmother: Oh, wow.
Alison: How old do I look now?
Grandmother: 24.
Alison: I'll take it!

MeandMarj: The Handicraft Club.

Alison: What's this picture? The Handicraft Club in Providence, Rhode Island - 1984... 
Grandmother: Oh, that was a great club!
Alison: What did you do?
Grandmother: Oh, they had lots of great things! Sewing... 
Alison: What else did you do at the Handicraft Club? 
Grandmother: Well, they taught sewing... You could take painting... They had a number of things you could do. 
Alison: How often did you go there? 
Grandmother: Often...at least once a week.